ok bitches, so i missed posting last weeks hot slut history lesson so this week i am doing a double header....well sort of.

so yeah sluts.....i was thinking the other day and i realized i totally live with some crazy ass bitches. so my dog charlie murphy (named after eddie murphy's brother.....a name my dog has fully embodied in mind and spirit, i swear to you my dog is a mess because of his name) is the biggest asshole. he is totally the biggest pain in the ass dog i've ever known, but i love that bitch dearly.

so then i started thinking about that bitches relationship with my other dog Sundae and i realized something.....So these two bitches (sundae and charlie) hate each other but they know they must try to live together in harmony in order to live the good life. it's way hot to watch those bitches try to take over the house and win our affections while being at odds with each other and trying to tear each other up. Anyways, it got me thinking about one of my favorite couples in history: Ike and Tina Turner and then....i totally realized my dogs are definitely the Ike and Tina of the canine world. for realz.

Charlie Murphy is a 1 and a half year old white maltese. Ever since that little slut came into our home he has done everything in his power to terrorize my family and our house (duh just like ike!). He is a hot bitch for that. If some dumb sluts bought my ass and brought me to their home so i could be their toy i'd make those bitches pay too.

Anyways, charlie is hot because he lives his life being a little asshole, barking at shit for no reason, sitting and walking on your face while you are lying down, crapping, stealing people's food, raping my arm, eating toilet paper, and basically ruining all the hot material posessions i totally love. Fuck, he's such an asshole.

He also incessently taunts and totally annoys our in-house diva, Sundae (tina) and that bitch does not like that shit!! Sundae is my 10 year old mixed breed hot slut of a dog and that bitch does not mess around. she's my favorite dog ever. She hates charlie with a passion but tries super hard to not let it show too much because she knows if she doesn't she won't sell a million records and live like a queen. she's totally exactly like tina. Sundae doesnt take anyones shit and when charlie tries to smack her down and make her eat the cake, that bitch throws the cake back in Ike's..i mean charlies... face.

ok so i truly believe my two baby bitches are Ike and Tina because they totally have the same realtionship. If you sluts have never watched "What's Love Got To Do With It", aka the Ike and Tina Movie, then you are hardcore missing out on some awesome domestic violence action. That movie is hot shit because it's fucking nuts.

Not that i endorse domestic violence but when it's Lawrence Fishbourne playing the part of Ike Turner....that shit makes you laugh so hard you totally pee your pants! ANYWAYS, my favorite part of the Ike and Tina movie is when Ike is at some diner and Tina comes in and he tries to make his bitch Tina eat some fucking cake!!!!! it's rad. He's like "Eat the fucking cake" and she's like no i dont want any cake, and he's like "EAT THE CAKE" and tina aka anna mae is like NO I DONT WANT ANY IKE and then ike is all mad and is like don't make my ass mad and then that bitch (ike) takes some cake and fucking shoves it in tina's face!!!!! LIKE REALLY HARD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S SO RAD!!!! it rules bitches!

holy shit sluts, you need to see that movie. other awesome parts are..... well, everytime Ike beats the shit out of tina...which is like every time Ike is on the screen!! oh man that movie is way hot. The part where Tina turns buddhist, however, is super lame so you can turn the dvd off after she leaves Ike's crazy out of control ass.

so yeah sundae and charlie are totally just like that and it's hot. Charlie will try to make Sundae do shit, like chase him around or smell his butt or eat a bug or something and Sundae will be like fuck you Charlie and try to leave but then charlie won't let her and he'll jump in front of her or on her and then those bitches will get in a huge fight and beat each other up!!! it's hot sluts and i feel so privliged to have Ike and Tina in my home!!! yeah. i told you bitches midterms would be the end of me.

¶ 1:02 PM