HOT SLUT HISTORY LESSON: HELLO KITTY ok bitches, so the arrival of my camera has me totally inspired and really there is no need to explain why hello kitty is a hot slut. so i searched google to get some backstory on this bitch and i found this slut on google that has some site on hk's history.....dang, apparently hello kitty didn't even have a name at the beginning. she was just some slut sitting down with a red bow. that's fucking awesome.

oh man, the bitch that put together the History of Hello Kitty on her site is rad. she has a picture by picture account of her whole life. i wish i could do the same thing but this blogger crap sucks for pictures. so i will just take some of the more choice pictures and elaborate on why HK is a hot fucking slut.





1974: holy crap, look at this slut. she looks fucking retarded. according to the bitch who i stole these pictures from, hello kitty instantly won the love and respect of the Japanese. ok , what? i doubt those sluts respect some cat whore who just sits around. or maybe they did. those bitches do love paris hilton. damn, what in the gd is wrong with those sluts? oh well......



1975: ok so this is the year this bitch got her name. yeah i don't know about that. i think this history whore is full of crap but whatever, i'll go with it. anyways, she doesn't mention why they named this bitch hello kitty but you know how the Japanese like to make shit up that doesnt make any gd sense. it's hot. if i could get away with that shit i would too. this is also the year we got to know hello kitty's hot fams. her sister is fucking hot. so is her dad. i bet he sold hello kitty so that he could buy his family that hot couch. holy shit, he's the cat Joe Simpson.


1976: this is the year hello slutface got bought by sanrio. damn that's so hot. i wish some hot corporation would buy me for having a big face and wearing a fucking bow. some girls just have all the luck. oh yeah,also,everyone got sick of that bitch sitting on her gd fucking ass so they finally stood her ass up for the 1st time! that's hot! i knew those japanese bitches wouldn't put up with that shit for very long. who does this bitch think she is?fucking tara reid.i don't think so whore!




1978: ok so by this point this bitch is super famous for being a slut and sitting on shit. i chose this picture because it's hot that they decided to put her ass on a dolphin!!! look at the fucking picture whores! it's fucking priceless. i would make the exact same face if i was riding a fucking hot dolphin like this!





1979: this is the year they intro'd this bitches grandparents. i just like this one cos i love old people. they are hardcore evil. i'm not sure which one is the bitch and which one is the dude but they look hot. and you know they made hello kitty stand in the back! that's totally something my hot grandma has done. the minute that bitch sees a camera she pushes me to the back!! she's hot. i hope i'm her when i'm an old bitch.







1984: fucking shit, this is the scariest hello kitty picture i've ever seen. according to that whore i'm stealing this info from, "this was to make hello kitty more realistic and made her closer to us. This process was a huge success at the end". wait what? no fucking way. that is LIES!!! this shit would scare the bejesus out of me. i was 4 in 1984 and if i saw this shit at age 4 i would forever ban this bitch from my presence. actually i prolly did that's why i dont remember this. it's hot that this bitch is eating ice cream though! stuff your face ho, go on! work it out girl, i aint hatin'!



1986: this is hello bitches passport photo. enough said.








1992: this picture is hot because according to the hello kitty history whore this was supposed to "give the fans a heartwarming feel". hahaha. all this does is make me think this bitch was broke and had to resort to selling fruit choonty style. that's hot bitch, we all have our ups and downs. oh shit, i guess it is heart warming to watch this bitch sell me fruit. slut, bring me an orange! pronto!



ok so everything after this is pretty fucking boring. what the history slut failed to mention was all the hot merchandise that has emerged since hello kitty's debut in 1974. my favoites are totally the hello bitchface wafflemaker and of course the hello slutface dildo. i don't own either but their existence alone is enough to make my love for this fucking whore of a cat eternal. hello kitty you are truly god's gift to the world!!!  ¶ 3:31 PM