emergency post: hot celeb gossip we all saw coming for about one year! these bitches are DONE-ZO!





here is their retarded statement:
"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways. This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time." - Nick & Jessica

ps- "my vagina is open for business" - Jessica

anyways....i have nothing to do for the next 3 hours. i can't start making crap because we are on thai/salvadorean time so that means we don't fucking eat till like 8pm....which is good because if my family whores made my ass have to wake up early so they can indulge themselves i would be seriously pissed. i would totally make those bitches pay!!! they would have to hand feed my ass and be my slaves until christmas....oh and forgoe presents so i can buy myself something from that hot neiman marcus christmas catalog (the one where you can buy elton john!)!!! waking me up early is totally the worst thing anyone could ever do to me.

ew, but i drank so much coffee last nite i didn't go to bed until about 5 am and woke up all by myself at 9. what the fuck. whatever, i'll just drink more of that shit so i can start preparing for my role as hardcore kitchen bitch. i am a total asshole on thanksgiving. it's hot. my mom gets scared of my ass because i don't want her to touch anything. but sluts, you have to understand...if i don't scare that bitch away she will touch my food and turn that shit into coal. or even worse, she might start cooking something and make this:

HAHAHA don't get gross out bitches.....IT'S A FUCKING CAKE! i'm not joking. it's for kids and it is supposedly super popular! FUCKING GROSS. Children are fucking savages. Those bitches will eat anything and if you don't feed their asses they turn into slimy warty looking fug monsters and make your life hell. FUCK THAT. that is why i had to give in when my cousin sluts told my ass not to go on Vacay. they scare my ass. they are mafia style.

ok their is more celeb goss but my ass is lazy and i'm sick of typing to you whores. i'll be back in an hour after my 5th mug of coffee.

  ¶ 10:28 AM