oh bitches, i need your prayers! bitches i fear for my life!!!!!!!!!!

i have to spend the afternoon with my mom.

dear god,

i pray you give me the strength to not to want to give that bitch a smackdown....or at least the chance to sneak in a shot of tequila in order to not care what that bitch goes on and on about.

just kidding sluts. i heart my mom. she is a hardcore diva and i am basically an exact replica of that slut (on the inside though, because on the outside my ass is half asian and i look like neither of my slut parents) but on the inside i am exactly like that bitch...stone heart and all.... except i was made of like diamonds, emeralds, and pure delicious cashmere and silk, and that bitch was made of like some poly-blend and zirconia.

i am such a bitch.

no but for reals my mom tries to battle me for the diamonds. she is vicious. it's hot though. so me and my madre are heading down to the wonderful land of the republicans: south orange county. particularly: Newport Beach's Fashion Island and Costa Mesa's South Coast Plaza. This should be good because there is nothing my mom will tolerate less than snobby bitches. she hates that shit. i am making my mom take me to south o.c. mainly to watch her battle the botox injected but also because it's closer than going to LA and i really need to hit up the Container Store. that bitch also better buy me lunch, or else!!!!!!! she totally owes my ass especially since i am feeding a fucking army of bitches this thursday. that bitch doesnt even help my ass because she doesn't know a stove from a fucking slot machine!

ok bitches, pray i make it home in one piece....no, pray that my mom does. because the most likely situation is that that slut will make some mom-remark about my taste and then tell me i'm fat and then tell me she's going on vacay without me and then i will probably shove her in a container at the container store and leave that slut there! maybe i should consider the tequila afterall.  ¶ 12:21 PM