hola my beloved whores. i feel like ive been neglecting you bitches and it's making me feel bad. so bad, that i have been spending all of my free time on my couch watching hours and hours of hot television while i stuff myself with cream puffs. MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. actually, that's not totally true, i also have a dextarim and a choclate lax! haha, jk bitches. there haven't been enough good Mary Kate and Nicole Richie pictures to inspire me to do that!

actually, the real reason i haven't been posting is because there ain't shit going on. it's seriously all the same crap.....Angelina and her wife being boring.....Tomkat and the pillow being boring.....Paris Hilton and her herpes being boring.....Jessica Simpson and her cooch being boring.....Britney and her gut being boring. i totally feel like Charlie sniffing Sundae's ass is more exciting than celeb news and i don't really feel it's right to exploit their love on my blog.

television is the only thing that has been keeping me sane.....and with the end ofProjRun, the end of Flavor of Love, and Brad's release from the gauntlet 2,i present you with my new Top 3 shows to watch because tabloids and gossip blogs are boring:

#1) ANTM!!!! because duh, it's ANTM!!!!! and because fourfour does an amazing recap of the show and is what i look forward to even more than the show itself. (if i've never mentioned fourfour before it's only because i am a selfish whore who likes to laugh alone!! but i really have become quite attatched to you bitches and will allow myself to share, just this one time. aside from past ANTM seasons he has also covered the entire seasons of: ProjRun, the Whitney Houston show: Being Bobby Brown (ha), and other gems.....relive it all through his "Categories" archive! the man is a genius.).

#2) 8th and Ocean. that show is pure trash. "teen" "models" living in miami interacting a'la Laguna Beach (the show is produced by the same people), which if you loved Laguna Beach you will understand what i mean (the bad camera handling, the awkward capturing of "emotion", the obvious script, the intentional reality of it all)!!!! it rules!!!! plus everyone is super hot. example: Sabrina, Briana, Talesha, Teddy. But my favorite of all is agency owner, Irene, because the botox makes it really hard for her to talk and it's awesome to watch her try!!! she's totally disgusting!!!!

i LOVE her.

collect them all: 8th and Ocean Cast

#3) Footballers Wives. The Scandal. The Super Trash. The Delciousness!!!!! it's dallas, dynasty, passions, and posh spice melted down into one hour episodes!! this show gives me goosebumps. Past storylines include: an anorexic glamour model named Chardonnay who's tits get set on fire and who is obsessed with a hermaphrodite child (chardonnay eventually dies from anorexia), a murdered poodle that later turns up as dog curry and is fed to it's owner's guests at a dinner party (a guest finds a dog tag in her curry!!!), baby swapping which leads one of the bitches to having to spray tan her baby, and lots of hot boning, hot champagne drinking, and hot bitchiness. Watch season 5 on BBCAmerica.

  ¶ 11:37 AM