happy stuff the turkey day (take that as you wish) thanksgiving is totally my favorite holiday after my birfday. mostly because i don't have to buy anyone a present (...xmas is overrated). i still get presents for thanksgiving though. granted, i only get food presents and like some kind of weird card from my mom but sometimes my cousins bring me something awesome, like "The OC" merchandise. those sluts totally know me.

the only reason today is not as awesome as my birfday is because it's less about me and more about delicious food. hm...actually, when i really think about it, thanksgiving is totally all about me!!! i seriously handle it on thanksgiving. my dinners are like legendary or something. no wonder people love me.

ok so things i am thankful for at this very minute, in no particular order:

sausage

del taco's mouth watering (gag) maple sausage roll up is seriously the most genius food item i've ever heard of!! a maple sausage rolled in a flour tortilla dipped in french toast batter and deep fried, this beats that fried coke pam posted about because the maple roll up looks like an STD. i am thankful for it.

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Fergie

Fergie is awesome because she shares a nickname with this bitch:

......you know, the duchess of york and weight watchers spokeswoman! and also because she is able to turn the following rhymes into a hit single!!

"Fergalicious (Fergalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious"

"I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)"

um, ok fergie.

poor meth hag. i am thankful for her.

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Divorce

i heart divorce because it gives celebrities something to do besides shopping, throwing up, snorting shit, and giving each other v.d.. it's also awesome because it is the first step to a fallen celebrity's hot comeback!! IT WILL HAPPEN!!!! Britney and Whitney will totally bring it and it will be glorious!!!! divorce is hot for non-celebrities because divorced people tend to be slutty and/or nuts and that's funny. i'm just sayin.

anyway, i am thankful.

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Meatloaf (the large dude, not the food)



meatloaf is not so hot but the VH1 (although it could almost be on Lifetime) movie about meatloaf (Meatloaf: To Hell and Back) is beyond hot. and beyond quotable. they say the word "fat" a lot. it's pretty awesome and it's on tv right now. i am thankful.

(update: holy shit, this movie is not pretty awesome, it's amazingly awesome!!!! the ending is rad because i cant tell if it's like real or not. you totally have to watch it!! ok so like meatloaf is on a stage singing to like people from the 70's but i think he's singing to footage of people in the 70's and then they close up on his bitch and she's in the crowd and it's a tight shot of her because she's not really with the 70's sluts. it's just like the "band geeks" episode of spongebob. omg, i love this movie!)
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Cholas


duh, because chola's are the bomb. i am thankful.




HAPPY THANKSGIVING WHOREBITCHSLUTSKANKS!!!!!! don't choke on your shit!  ¶ 1:31 AM