delirium makes you crave time travel: an amazing discovery by yours truly once upon a time i did all this stuff and took a million pictures of me doing said stuff. being imprisoned by the stitches in my face and the sedating effects of painkillers has made me long for the taste of freedom (ok vodka) and has forced me into performing compuslive acts of amusement to keep me from doing something severely irrational: like, reading.

so i am going to post pictures until i actually begin to believe i am not at home and am actually like, having fun....with alcohols and bitches and sluts and whores. i know it's only been 2 days but i can not take it anymore. and i'm getting fucking fat. not eating is totally crap. ok, maybe by eating soft foods the doctor didn't mean mountains of deep fried ring shaped bread with sugar on top which happens to be soft in the middle NOR did he probably mean obscene amounts of Haggen Daz or Macaroni and Cheese, but still. No, actually, he did say i should eat Macaroni and Cheese. Lame. I thought my mouth being out of order would help me out for the holidays......fucking donuts. well, anyway......here is the first of what will probably be a hundred thousand of these....

Once Upon A Time.....My Brother Had A Birfday

so like sometime in august my brother and his slut-tourage celebrated my little brother's turning the big 2-4 in las baginas (las begas)! I was kindly allowed to accompany the whores because a) i'm the bomb and b) bitch had no choice, i always go to his birfdays whether he likes it or not.

we started off at the only place we eat when we are in begas, Mesa, because we all want to have sex with bobby flay. yes, all of us:








after getting krunk on the best margaritas ever made and stuffing our faces with bobby flay's meat, we decided to go to Tao at the Venetian.












that shit started out pretty fucking boring. tao pretty much sucks. it's kind of ugly and like boring and shit. we went up stairs to some giant room where they were playing music for like oily people so we went back down to look for the hip hop room. first we went to the bar by those statues and got shitfaced on patron and then we took more pictures. drunker ones.























even though we were drunker, that shit was still boring, so shaun posed for a quick photo shoot:






then the girls:





then rochi's coochie*:






after that, we decided it was probably time to go back to caesars. when we got back, we went to the diner and i had some seriously delicious pumpkin donuts. mmmm......in fact, i think i am going to go have a donut now.

i totally had a pretty decent time that night. mostly because of our special guest, rochi's coochie. that must be what it's like to hang out with the new britney spears. vaginas are 2006's number one accessory, i guess. who knew!

*rochi's coochie = hello kitty, a mailbox, and a bird. i can't show you the real rochi coochie because that skeez would kill me. and because i don't want to throw up. it would really annoy my stitches.  ¶ 1:22 AM