Up and Running/"Baby, i'm perfect for you"- P.Hilton, actress, singer, cultural phenomenon You Tube is back and is totally full of shit. For details on my feelings on (the new and improved) You Tube (which they don't even tell you about! like the idiots that use that shit will read the subtle signs...anyway) go to Sucks/Doesn't Suck. I refuse to talk about that shit here. What i don't refuse however, and never will, is the Paris Hilton "Stars Are Blind" video.

so i totally love this song. it has a cheap and completely idiotic quality about it that i just can't get enough of. ironic, you say? i know right! but with this song, paris has definitely proved that she is a whore who can not...no, should not, be doubted. and who am i to stop her. so here, enjoy. and also, enjoy the amazing second version of the video i found which is seriously as mesmerizing as the first.

1. Original Version (the beach one)
Paris Hilton - Stars Are Blind



2. Alternate Version (the awesome one)
Stars Are Blind


bitch sounds like Gwen Stafani. you know you love it.

ps- im not kidding about liking this song  ¶ 1:34 AM

  Um....
who the hell do these bitches think they are? myspace?
they are not allowed to be "currently working" on nothing!!!! stupid You Tube. and how come when they are "working" on the site, we can't see ANY of their shit? LAME. i need to watch the paris video for "stars are blind" goddamnit!!! NEED TO!!!! MUST!!! that video is the only thing that keeps me going day after day!!!!! plus i suspect that the song is totally a "barbie and the rockers" song. i must prove it.  ¶ 11:34 PM

  public intoxication is the key to getting anything you want

after i made a waffle at the request of a customer (who, by the way, tipped me in cheesecake, which i very much approve of), making some bitch a burger, calling the kitchen staff sluts and whores, playing some disco on the sound system, creating the new brite spot sticker pasties uniform, tatooing the waiter, giving myself a discount, and attempting to convince the waiter that the bill could be payed with business cards, a barnes and noble gift card, and brian's hollywood video card....it was time to go home.....

and i did. right after i threw up.

the end.

  ¶ 11:50 PM

  dress you up in my love ...so since i recently decided to profess my intense love for Davy Havok to you skanky whores, i thought today i'd show you sluts the Davy i fell in love with...many, many, many, MANY pencils of black eyeliner ago! all before the fake eyelashes and blue eyeshadow and tight leather body suits!! not that i don't love him now, tranny wardrobe and all....but every now and again, it's good to reminisce:

  ¶ 9:50 PM

  you know you have a problem when..... you forget your most beloveds' birthdays!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude, there needs to be some serious intervening on y'alls part to keep me out of school already. i am slowly losing myself to this disease, this needing to have a diploma sickness, and it is severly affecting my personal life.

So in my state of frantic summer school-ness and post-class getting boracha-ness....i totally forgot to wish my soul sisters, my most cherished sluts, my favorite hot messes a happy twentieth birfday!!!!!!

OLSEN BITCHES, though this comes 3 days late, it is no less filled with hot, slutty love for you two dirty pieces of useless trash. i totally owe you both a hot dog and a beer! i can't wait for us to throw up together. even though throwing up is so 2005, you two bitches never make it passe....and that is why i love you!!!!

  ¶ 10:18 PM

  3 songs you should all get your "rock" to #3, 2, and 1:

AFI- Miss Murder

dude, this is the most annoying AFI single ever. it's hot though. i know this shit is annoying especially since MTV2 devoted and entire day to AFI which actually meant they devoted an entire day to just the new single....or at least that's what it felt like. but whatever. i have loved davy havok forever. seriously, like for-ever! he totally makes me all giddy and shit. i don't know why, so don't question me. he's just hot. and ew, everyone i know has run into him at the most random bars. lame. i totally want to bump into him and shit. dude, for reals, he and i are soul mates. i think im into him because i know deep down inside he is a chola just like me. plus he's hot on stage. like way hot. and he's a beautiful CHOLA! god i love him.

ok, so yeah, AFI gets 3, 2, and 1 because actually, i never listen to any rock stations in my car. i love all kinds of music and i have most of the crap they play on every station on my ipod anyways, but i totally broke the thing that made it awesome for my ipod to play in my car and so now i have to stick to radio.....but i seriously rather get my party on to some hot jams in my car than get my rock on. All the rock/indie/whatever stations play like old music anyways. Sometimes i'll tune into Indie 103 and a hot T-Rex song will be on and i'll get my glam on and then i get bored or get bad reception and i'll go back to getting my Hip Hop and R&B on. Or i'll hit up my "go-to" cd and listen to the hottest vintage classic R&B grind song ever made in the history of all that is hot:



....and do not even think i am kidding. this is for reals.  ¶ 1:38 AM

  3 songs you should all think are hot

this song is seriously retarded. but it's hot. it's about sluts so how can i not love it....also, nelly furtado's background people do some hot dancing in the video so i have to give it props for being cheap but full of hot moves.

outstanding lyric: "Roses are red Some diamonds are blue Chivalry is dead But you're still kinda cute"

-dude, this shit is deep!!

#2) Me and You - Cassie


this song is actually super hot and is also about a super trashy slut. the beats are totally sexy and cassie is a hot whore with THE hottest moves! for reals. look at her. she's fucking hot. this song is the hot bitches theme song of the summer and every hot bitch should blast this shit and start screaming and dancing and crap when it comes on the radio in your car when you're with your girls. or something.

outstanding lyric: "Baby ill love you all the way down Get you just where you like I promise you'll like it (i swear)"

dude, cassie is a whore.

...........and the #1 song you should all think is hot:

RIDIN' - CHAMILLIONAIRE featuring Krayzie Bone


man, i totally feel Chamillionaire's pain....the po is always trying to catch me ridin dirty. dude, this song is seriously fucking awesome. and the dudes name is CHAMILLIONAIRE! how can you beat that? also, the song is not about boning at all....ok maybe it's a little bit about boning, but only like one line is about that.... ridin' dirty actually means ridin' dirty, like in your car. like cos you got the music loud and you dont have your tags and you have a playstation and shit. dude, hottest song ever!!!!!!!

outstanding lyric: "Windows down gotta stop pollution"

dude, HOT!!!  ¶ 12:42 AM

  a letter to my bitches with hot pictures attatched....a lot of them....like for reals, it's a lot....

Dear Bitches,

ew...im totally bummed. i just realized today that it's June, which means i can no longer claim May-J-Saurus for free booze, food, and fun! That's way lame. Although my birfday month has now officially passed, I am grateful for the 1.4 million pictures i have as reminders of the greatest 31 days of the year! Thanks to my favorite sluts and bitches for keeping me a hot mess all month long!!!.....I hope these selected pictures inspire you to keep me a hot mess year round, cos seriously, these pictures are hot......

kisses,
jasmin

Jasminfest, Run/Walk-Pupusa Party:

Jasminfest, OC:

Jasminfest, ETC

  ¶ 4:29 PM