i'm leaving you whores for two weeks for better ones....

ok sluts, in 24 hours i'm leaving all your skanky asses for the skankier asses of london, paris, and three cities in spain. i'll be back in two weeks though. i know that's a long time to be without me and most of you will probably spend hours looking at my pictures, having drinks and being sluts with me via your imaginations.....god you guys are pathetic. but whatever helps get you through it.

i love you bitches.  ¶ 11:46 AM

  god's gift to jasmin: America's Next Top Model cycle 7 i love tyra banks....



...she's a fucking idiot.

but i am really grateful to her for providing me with the best 15 or whatever weeks of my year.. i'm completely elated.

this season has a bunch of white bitches, some black sluts, and that's about it. oh and the picasso bitch..i mean the indian ho. basically everyone is averagely hot. some aren't even hot so that's awesome because they will get their feelings hurt when Janice...oh god, i keep forgetting. blah...why do i watch this show again? oh yeah, that tyra clip above. thank god bitch is fat and nuts. or else this show would go to shit. i had a really hard time deciding who i like and don't like but i narrowed it down below. i do want to mention i was really pulling for that Elvira..or Evita slut or whatever because she was a ghetto latina trying to achieve the American dream of having a military husband and 2 kids while she worked as a "model" at 23 years old. that dream is hot. but she didn't make it to the top 13.

My favorite so far:




....the twins are hot because they are fug, they are from anaheim, and they make me feel the worst about putting a take 5 bar into my mouth!!!

now the bitch that i think is hot, but are not ugly-hot enough to be a "model" and make me not put a take 5 bar into my mouth:


--i like this bitch because she has short hair. seriously every ho this season is a boring ass cracker. at least this bitch is a cracker with sassy lez hair. even if she's not a les...she looks like the lesbian from the other season so blame that whore for my short hair/lesbo association.


--i like this skank because she has issues. she also has short hair, but it isn't short/les hair...there is totally a difference!....you know when you look at that other whore's hair you think LESBO! don't deny it. i'm not an asshole, i swear...ok maybe a little...BUT ANYWAYS...this bitch is rad because she's all like kind of dark and a little angry and feels ugly and hates herself!!! so rad. tyra will eat her. it will rule.

and now, the bitch i hate the most:

---as impressed as i was by her fashion knowledge this bitch makes me want to throw charlie at her. but then i look at charlie's little face and realize i AM an asshole. yeah i dont know why, but this ho gets on my last nerve. i mean, anyone who changes their name from Melanie Rose to Melrose is totally gay. and i don't mean lesbian.


charlie:



the 13 slutbags:
  ¶ 1:21 AM

  ain't nuttin' but a gangsta partay.... today i had a tupac party in honor of the 10th year anniversary of his death. i really love tupac. i love his story, i love his music, i love what he had to say...i love him so much that i wanted to get together with a couple of homies and throw back some 40's at the park. you know, cos that's what he would have wanted me to do.

however, my friends are weak and totally denied me my dream of the perfect party. so i came up with an alternative. damn, why are my friends so gay?





Welcome to: The Tupac Shakur Party, 40 ounces of frozen yogurt.

I decided the only way to get my gay ass friends to participate was to lure them in with sugar....the only problem with that is that sugar does not get your ass krunk. so before we hit up the yogurt place, i took those bitches to our favorite afternoon snack joint: Chipotle....but just for the Margaritas. those totally count as snacks.

we bought one for tupac:

luckily, yogurtland is only about 10 paces to the right of chipotle. we made our 40's and then i made those ho's decorate their styrofoam cups to look like 40's.......i know, im totally a genius.






here kevin is tipping his for our homie in heaven:

we are seriously so embarassing.

ok after that, kevin told me he brought his compton hat. i told him i brought mine too. then we had this hot photo shoot by my car:


yeah, we're really embarassing.

im sorry tupac. but i still love you. and i know you love me too.

(ps- these pictures are crap because i forgot my camera's memory card at home so i had to use my phone. we still look hot, though, huh? )  ¶ 10:47 PM

  disgrace man, i totally suck lately. im sorry to all you hoes for not being a good slut and posting on important matters such as the Suri issue of Vanity Fair. i don't know what my problem is...i seriously hate celebrities right now. they're like, boring. yogurtland and beverages and more isn't boring though. anyways, here's the picture all you sluts have probably seen about a million times already on every tabloid blog on the internet. or on the People mag website.

she's cute and stuff. but still boring. man seriously, wouldn't you rather go get drunk or eat frozen yogurt? mmmm......or both!!!! im totally on it.

  ¶ 1:29 AM

  go to stater brothers.... ....and buy these cookies, asap. they are the most amazing things on earth. they taste god awful but dude, they're hot looking. and that's what counts!




mmmmm......






....you should always attack the head first:


...or something.

man, seriously though...being sick totally sucks.

yes, i am high on sudafed. and tylenol cold. and Puffs Ultra.  ¶ 12:56 AM