temp agencies totally hate me so i won't be getting a job anytime soon!!! isn't that great? i guess even the business world knows im too hot for that shit. haha jk.


so i went to the agency and it was hot at first. they made me watch this AWESOME video where the dude who started the agency does this awesome intro where he talks about something boring. i dont know what he said because i was totally mesmerized by his look....he had a cool accent, a fake tan, and italian shoes.. oh and oil in his hair. like that wet shine crap or whatever. i totally used to use that crap in like 1993. i was hot when i was 13. i also wore t-shirts with bugs bunny wearing cross colors. no pictures of this exist. anymore. anyway, back to that hot accent dude....oh did i mention he was like 110 years old? yes. so rad. so while i was watching his mouth move i started thinking about how many tons of oil were sitting on that man's head and if it would start to ooze. it didn't happen and i was disappointed.


ok then, the video turned out to be about safety and they tell you like pretty much that you can't do anything at your temp job without written permission by the agency because they basically own your soul. that was hot, i was down with that. it's like having a pimp, which is totally desireable. so after thinking about how much hotter it would have been if the oily old man actually dressed up as a pimp on the video and kept it real, all these hot people came on the screen and did things that were jeopordizing their safety, ok jeopordizing the old oily dude's bank account because you are a liability. apparently being lazy is both safe and unsafe. for example, you can't pick stuff up like off the floor while you are still seated in your office chair (lame), but if the job asks you to do something not in the contract you have to tell those ho's HELL NO! thats rad.



they totally tell you that you can NOT under any circumstances drive your car to pick up lunch or coffee for any of those bitches, or answer phones, or change the soda in the soda dispenser (i swear that was in the video!hahahaha!), or do anything that makes you uncomfortable if those bitches didn't put it in the job description!




this, i thought, was awesome because it would be really easy to manipulate any situation. like seriously, you could totally work lazy to your advantage and be like "sorry...it didn't say being not lazy was part of the job! and it makes me really uncomfortable to not be lazy so i would appreciate it if you didn't ask me to not be lazy again"!! oh my god, that's a dream come true!!! i dont know what else went on because i started to scheme about how to get around having to do things and decided that this should apply in all areas of life....and then the video ended!

i told the chick that was assissting me, and then the dumb bitch tells me there's a fucking QUIZ!!!! she totally tricked me. i think i failed....and everything pretty much went downhill from there.

after the quiz, they made me go get my social sec.# verified because i look illegal. both my parents totally passed on that gene to me! just kidding! they made me do it because i didnt bring my card. so i did that at some soc.sec office downstairs and when i came back this like totally lame dude comes and tells me he'll be interviewing me and then he's totally an asshole and i decide i hate him and that i am going to give him really bad answers to piss him off!! it was awesome!!



at first, he asked me really lame questions that i had really hot answers to. but he didnt like my hot answers because HE wanted to be the one in a hot yellow dress holding a donna karan bag and wearing jessica simpson brand heels.



he then asked me what ive done since graduation and i told his ass i was traveling the world on my parents back account and he got even more mad and pretty much ended the interview there!! im not kidding!! he was such a hater drama queen!!!



so then he told me that while he would "let me know if any jobs that fit my interest pop up" it was unlikely there would be any work within the next two weeks and that i should check in with a different one of their agencies closer to my area! um, EWWW! seriously. so i told him that i would probably not end up needing a job because my parents will pay for me to do nothing for six weeks before i go to italy anyway but that i appreciated his time. im hot.


psh, who wouldn't want me? im totally responsible and respectable:



(so drunk)



hahahahha...i crack myself up!