my lollipops are sweeter
Monday, August 13, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
or maybe i could....
You have to use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less.
Where is your cell phone?
:: i dont care
Your hair?
:: broke ass weave-ish
Where is your father?
:: golfing being asian
Your favorite thing to do?
:: getting in trouble
Your dream last night?
:: full of celebrities
Your favorite drink?
:: mixes with vodka
Your dream truck?
:: aw hell no
The room you're in?
:: tv, computer, couch
Time you wake up
:: ten through two
Your fears?
::trannies with vaginas
Your favorite food
:: full of fat
Who did you hang out with last night?
:: skanky slut ho
What you're not good at?
:: having a job
Muffins?:
:: stinky or tainted
One of your wish list items?
:: pocket karl lagerfeld
Where did you grow up?
::san gabriel valley
The last thing you did?
:: created new smoothie
What are you wearing?
:: shirt, leggings, bangles
Your favorite place?
:: los angeles, cali
Who did you talk to last?
:: the dez machine
Your computer?
:: i want iphone
Your life?
:: modeled after zsazsa's
Your mood?
:: a hungry marshmallow
Missing?
:: not being marshmallow
What are you thinking about right now?:
:: margs, tan, beer-b-que
Your car?
:: nelson cher mandela
Your work?
:: eat, drink, sleep
Your summer?
::all year long
Your favorite color(s)
::clear, shiny, diamond
When is the last time you laughed?
::flight of conchords
Last time you cried?
::i hate oprah
School?
:: is for chumps!
Where is your cell phone?
:: i dont care
Your hair?
:: broke ass weave-ish
Where is your father?
:: golfing being asian
Your favorite thing to do?
:: getting in trouble
Your dream last night?
:: full of celebrities
Your favorite drink?
:: mixes with vodka
Your dream truck?
:: aw hell no
The room you're in?
:: tv, computer, couch
Time you wake up
:: ten through two
Your fears?
::trannies with vaginas
Your favorite food
:: full of fat
Who did you hang out with last night?
:: skanky slut ho
What you're not good at?
:: having a job
Muffins?:
:: stinky or tainted
One of your wish list items?
:: pocket karl lagerfeld
Where did you grow up?
::san gabriel valley
The last thing you did?
:: created new smoothie
What are you wearing?
:: shirt, leggings, bangles
Your favorite place?
:: los angeles, cali
Who did you talk to last?
:: the dez machine
Your computer?
:: i want iphone
Your life?
:: modeled after zsazsa's
Your mood?
:: a hungry marshmallow
Missing?
:: not being marshmallow
What are you thinking about right now?:
:: margs, tan, beer-b-que
Your car?
:: nelson cher mandela
Your work?
:: eat, drink, sleep
Your summer?
::all year long
Your favorite color(s)
::clear, shiny, diamond
When is the last time you laughed?
::flight of conchords
Last time you cried?
::i hate oprah
School?
:: is for chumps!
Labels: i'm awesome, i'm bored, nerd quizzes are still better than surveys
¶ 10:13 PM
Friday, June 15, 2007
i would have preferred a picture of sean connery......
You scored as James Bond, Agent 007, James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner.
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as James Bond, Agent 007, James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner.James Bond, Agent 007 | 100% | ||
Batman, the Dark Knight | 88% | ||
Lara Croft | 79% | ||
El Zorro | 79% | ||
Captain Jack Sparrow | 75% | ||
Indiana Jones | 71% | ||
Neo, the "One" | 71% | ||
William Wallace | 63% | ||
Maximus | 58% | ||
The Terminator | 50% | ||
The Amazing Spider-Man | 50% |
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
Labels: i'm awesome
¶ 10:19 PM
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
a countdown begineth
ok so these are things i think people should do with me sometime between now and italy and sometime between my return from italy and job. oh and these are besides my birfmonth activities. there will be about 5 to choose from probably for that. you totally love me.
(oh yeah im going to italy. i don't think i told everyone. i leave saturday so get to it, whores.)
- booze picnic with booze and cake and water guns filled with booze and waterballoons and lowrider bikes and no bees
- booze bonfire with booze and fire and um...i hate s'mores so, fuck that crap, but more booze is good
- booze bbq with carne asada and 80's freestyle disco and corona's and a jumpy thing and a pinata and mousie and sad girl
- booze fieldtrip with hot people and hot shopping and hot cultural activities
- booze and the metro and el downtown de los angeles
- booze con pan dulce party on norma's front porch
- booze and camping with nintendo
- booze plus skank plus skeez plus ho
-booze and business people
- booze party at the condom with junk food and sleeping and peliculas and hello kitty sleeping bags
- booze and the hard avenidas de highland parque con Marnocha aka:Labios, El Lagrimo, La Sleepy, y La Little Jota
- booze and taking over unsuspecting diners
- booze and more bars
- booze and dancing
- booze and photobooths
- booze floats
- booze and benches
- booze on a sidewalk
- booze and the lazy
- booze and shoop
- booze and shoop phone calls
- booze and some rat-a-tat-tat
- booze and talking shit
- margaritas at chipotle
ok that's all for now. i'm sure more will spontaneously emerge, but for now...GET TO WORK!
Labels: birfmonth, booze, i'm awesome, list, may-j-saurus month, party people
¶ 10:50 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
let's look back.....
.....on the hottest 3/4 birfday party ever in the history of 3/4 birfdays!!! shall we?
a long time ago, in february, i celebrated my 3/4 birfday! it was rad. i missed my 1/2 birfday because i was busy being hot in a third world country, so i made some hoes throw me a 3/4 birfday party at their condo(m)!!!!! invading other people's homes to throw yourself an almost birthday party is bomb.
the theme: Mi Vida Loca
i won't explain, because i don't need to. you should already know and appreciate why this is hot. and because i'm lazy. and because i don't remember what happened that night.
(yes, my cake was a corn tamale, and yes my candle was a votive one. POR VIDA, holmes!)
.....on the hottest 3/4 birfday party ever in the history of 3/4 birfdays!!! shall we?a long time ago, in february, i celebrated my 3/4 birfday! it was rad. i missed my 1/2 birfday because i was busy being hot in a third world country, so i made some hoes throw me a 3/4 birfday party at their condo(m)!!!!! invading other people's homes to throw yourself an almost birthday party is bomb.
the theme: Mi Vida Loca
i won't explain, because i don't need to. you should already know and appreciate why this is hot. and because i'm lazy. and because i don't remember what happened that night.
(yes, my cake was a corn tamale, and yes my candle was a votive one. POR VIDA, holmes!)
Labels: 3/4 birfday, 40's, i'm awesome, mi vida loca, tamales
¶ 1:01 PM
Thursday, March 01, 2007
GOOD NEWS!!!
temp agencies totally hate me so i won't be getting a job anytime soon!!! isn't that great? i guess even the business world knows im too hot for that shit. haha jk.
so i went to the agency and it was hot at first. they made me watch this AWESOME video where the dude who started the agency does this awesome intro where he talks about something boring. i dont know what he said because i was totally mesmerized by his look....he had a cool accent, a fake tan, and italian shoes.. oh and oil in his hair. like that wet shine crap or whatever. i totally used to use that crap in like 1993. i was hot when i was 13. i also wore t-shirts with bugs bunny wearing cross colors. no pictures of this exist. anymore. anyway, back to that hot accent dude....oh did i mention he was like 110 years old? yes. so rad. so while i was watching his mouth move i started thinking about how many tons of oil were sitting on that man's head and if it would start to ooze. it didn't happen and i was disappointed.
ok then, the video turned out to be about safety and they tell you like pretty much that you can't do anything at your temp job without written permission by the agency because they basically own your soul. that was hot, i was down with that. it's like having a pimp, which is totally desireable. so after thinking about how much hotter it would have been if the oily old man actually dressed up as a pimp on the video and kept it real, all these hot people came on the screen and did things that were jeopordizing their safety, ok jeopordizing the old oily dude's bank account because you are a liability. apparently being lazy is both safe and unsafe. for example, you can't pick stuff up like off the floor while you are still seated in your office chair (lame), but if the job asks you to do something not in the contract you have to tell those ho's HELL NO! thats rad.
they totally tell you that you can NOT under any circumstances drive your car to pick up lunch or coffee for any of those bitches, or answer phones, or change the soda in the soda dispenser (i swear that was in the video!hahahaha!), or do anything that makes you uncomfortable if those bitches didn't put it in the job description!
this, i thought, was awesome because it would be really easy to manipulate any situation. like seriously, you could totally work lazy to your advantage and be like "sorry...it didn't say being not lazy was part of the job! and it makes me really uncomfortable to not be lazy so i would appreciate it if you didn't ask me to not be lazy again"!! oh my god, that's a dream come true!!! i dont know what else went on because i started to scheme about how to get around having to do things and decided that this should apply in all areas of life....and then the video ended!
i told the chick that was assissting me, and then the dumb bitch tells me there's a fucking QUIZ!!!! she totally tricked me. i think i failed....and everything pretty much went downhill from there.
after the quiz, they made me go get my social sec.# verified because i look illegal. both my parents totally passed on that gene to me! just kidding! they made me do it because i didnt bring my card. so i did that at some soc.sec office downstairs and when i came back this like totally lame dude comes and tells me he'll be interviewing me and then he's totally an asshole and i decide i hate him and that i am going to give him really bad answers to piss him off!! it was awesome!!
at first, he asked me really lame questions that i had really hot answers to. but he didnt like my hot answers because HE wanted to be the one in a hot yellow dress holding a donna karan bag and wearing jessica simpson brand heels.
he then asked me what ive done since graduation and i told his ass i was traveling the world on my parents back account and he got even more mad and pretty much ended the interview there!! im not kidding!! he was such a hater drama queen!!!
so then he told me that while he would "let me know if any jobs that fit my interest pop up" it was unlikely there would be any work within the next two weeks and that i should check in with a different one of their agencies closer to my area! um, EWWW! seriously. so i told him that i would probably not end up needing a job because my parents will pay for me to do nothing for six weeks before i go to italy anyway but that i appreciated his time. im hot.
psh, who wouldn't want me? im totally responsible and respectable:
(so drunk)
hahahahha...i crack myself up!
temp agencies totally hate me so i won't be getting a job anytime soon!!! isn't that great? i guess even the business world knows im too hot for that shit. haha jk.
so i went to the agency and it was hot at first. they made me watch this AWESOME video where the dude who started the agency does this awesome intro where he talks about something boring. i dont know what he said because i was totally mesmerized by his look....he had a cool accent, a fake tan, and italian shoes.. oh and oil in his hair. like that wet shine crap or whatever. i totally used to use that crap in like 1993. i was hot when i was 13. i also wore t-shirts with bugs bunny wearing cross colors. no pictures of this exist. anymore. anyway, back to that hot accent dude....oh did i mention he was like 110 years old? yes. so rad. so while i was watching his mouth move i started thinking about how many tons of oil were sitting on that man's head and if it would start to ooze. it didn't happen and i was disappointed.
ok then, the video turned out to be about safety and they tell you like pretty much that you can't do anything at your temp job without written permission by the agency because they basically own your soul. that was hot, i was down with that. it's like having a pimp, which is totally desireable. so after thinking about how much hotter it would have been if the oily old man actually dressed up as a pimp on the video and kept it real, all these hot people came on the screen and did things that were jeopordizing their safety, ok jeopordizing the old oily dude's bank account because you are a liability. apparently being lazy is both safe and unsafe. for example, you can't pick stuff up like off the floor while you are still seated in your office chair (lame), but if the job asks you to do something not in the contract you have to tell those ho's HELL NO! thats rad.
they totally tell you that you can NOT under any circumstances drive your car to pick up lunch or coffee for any of those bitches, or answer phones, or change the soda in the soda dispenser (i swear that was in the video!hahahaha!), or do anything that makes you uncomfortable if those bitches didn't put it in the job description!
this, i thought, was awesome because it would be really easy to manipulate any situation. like seriously, you could totally work lazy to your advantage and be like "sorry...it didn't say being not lazy was part of the job! and it makes me really uncomfortable to not be lazy so i would appreciate it if you didn't ask me to not be lazy again"!! oh my god, that's a dream come true!!! i dont know what else went on because i started to scheme about how to get around having to do things and decided that this should apply in all areas of life....and then the video ended!
i told the chick that was assissting me, and then the dumb bitch tells me there's a fucking QUIZ!!!! she totally tricked me. i think i failed....and everything pretty much went downhill from there.
after the quiz, they made me go get my social sec.# verified because i look illegal. both my parents totally passed on that gene to me! just kidding! they made me do it because i didnt bring my card. so i did that at some soc.sec office downstairs and when i came back this like totally lame dude comes and tells me he'll be interviewing me and then he's totally an asshole and i decide i hate him and that i am going to give him really bad answers to piss him off!! it was awesome!!
at first, he asked me really lame questions that i had really hot answers to. but he didnt like my hot answers because HE wanted to be the one in a hot yellow dress holding a donna karan bag and wearing jessica simpson brand heels.
he then asked me what ive done since graduation and i told his ass i was traveling the world on my parents back account and he got even more mad and pretty much ended the interview there!! im not kidding!! he was such a hater drama queen!!!
so then he told me that while he would "let me know if any jobs that fit my interest pop up" it was unlikely there would be any work within the next two weeks and that i should check in with a different one of their agencies closer to my area! um, EWWW! seriously. so i told him that i would probably not end up needing a job because my parents will pay for me to do nothing for six weeks before i go to italy anyway but that i appreciated his time. im hot.
psh, who wouldn't want me? im totally responsible and respectable:
(so drunk)hahahahha...i crack myself up!
Labels: business people, i still want a job, i'm awesome, lame dudes, temp agencies are crap
¶ 11:16 AM
Thursday, February 22, 2007
im booooorrrreeeeeddddddddd! if you are too, you might want to consider the excellent opportunity i am offering!! read to find out more!
im so bored. im still trying to get back on LA time. it's sooo annoying. also, my best friend left for spain for 3 months like two weeks ago and now i have less people to go out drinking with. ok one less people, but she was just as much in love with the booze as i am and so was the most consistent company. damn.
hm....if anyone wants to temp for her, please feel free to. here are the requirements, all of which are preferred but not necessary:
a) must love booze (preferably the hard stuff because beer people and booze people do not always see eye to eye)
b) must be hilarious, almost as hilarious as i am to myself
c) must be not boring
d) must be at least slightly addicted to caffeine and willing to indulge that addiction
e) must be interested in listening to me talk about target's wonderful plate selection while drunk
f) must be into taking obscene amounts of pictures, especially while drunk...and usually of this variety:
g) must carry one or two extra lollipops for me in case i go through all of the ones in my purse before the end of the night
h) karaoke. but not me. you. and then i watch and laugh at your ass and yell that you're a hot bitch while you sing.
i) must be willing to expect most non person to person conversations with me to take place via text message
j) must be willing to shoop
k) must know lyrics to or be willing to learn the lyrics to the following songs: Too Close by Next, Me and You by Cassie, Sexyback by Justin Timberlake, Peaches and Cream by 112, and that hot new Nelly Furtado song, "Say It Right"...for sure. that song is seriously hot., oh and of course the moving "Stars Are Blind" by the very talented Paris Hilton.
l) must love Chipotle.
m) must love Chipotle margs.
.....that's about it. this position also requires you put in about 20 hours of your week devoted to hanging out with me. your payment is that you get to hang out with me.
this is hot. if i were you i'd totally apply!!
hm....if anyone wants to temp for her, please feel free to. here are the requirements, all of which are preferred but not necessary:
a) must love booze (preferably the hard stuff because beer people and booze people do not always see eye to eye)
b) must be hilarious, almost as hilarious as i am to myself
c) must be not boring
d) must be at least slightly addicted to caffeine and willing to indulge that addiction
e) must be interested in listening to me talk about target's wonderful plate selection while drunk
f) must be into taking obscene amounts of pictures, especially while drunk...and usually of this variety:
g) must carry one or two extra lollipops for me in case i go through all of the ones in my purse before the end of the night
h) karaoke. but not me. you. and then i watch and laugh at your ass and yell that you're a hot bitch while you sing.
i) must be willing to expect most non person to person conversations with me to take place via text message
j) must be willing to shoop
k) must know lyrics to or be willing to learn the lyrics to the following songs: Too Close by Next, Me and You by Cassie, Sexyback by Justin Timberlake, Peaches and Cream by 112, and that hot new Nelly Furtado song, "Say It Right"...for sure. that song is seriously hot., oh and of course the moving "Stars Are Blind" by the very talented Paris Hilton.
l) must love Chipotle.
m) must love Chipotle margs.
.....that's about it. this position also requires you put in about 20 hours of your week devoted to hanging out with me. your payment is that you get to hang out with me.
this is hot. if i were you i'd totally apply!!
Labels: bored, i'm awesome, jobs
¶ 12:00 AM
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
jolly ho!
....no, that is not a reference to myself! i just got back from london and i thought i'd try out some of the catchphrases i picked up!!
.....that's better than any candy i've ever seen or tasted, that's for sure!!
....london business people do not mess around! they are totally my favorite part of the city. business people are the serious hotness. they power everything and that is a serious turn on. power lunch, power walk, power suits, power meetings, power happy hour, power vacay, power computer, power hail a taxi, power subway ride, power hire a hooker, power embezzle, power crush the hopes and dreams of those beneath them in order to get ahead. so hot! i want to power jasmin. i'm not exactly sure how that is different from regular jasmin-ing, but it sounds like fun. i think it just means i get to wear glasses whenever i do what i do. because i'm already really awesome at what i do. shut up, i totally do stuff! balancing drinking coffee and alcohol AND eating, and keeping up with the Target Go! designers is really hard work! oooo, i'm totally putting those on my resume!!
....no, that is not a reference to myself! i just got back from london and i thought i'd try out some of the catchphrases i picked up!!...ok, no one actually says jolly ho. i don't even think that's a phrase assoicated with the british. i think i totally made that up or got it wrong or something. what is the phrase then? tally ho? shit.....actually, i don't really care.
so i totally forgot to let you bitches know i was leaving. and i also forgot to leave you guys a nice happy vagina day wish! so to make up for that, here is a sugary vagina treat just for you:
.....that's better than any candy i've ever seen or tasted, that's for sure!!
in other news: i'm supposed to look for a job. um......
...yeah, drawing a complete blank. can't i just stand around holding a manila folder, a legal pad, and a starbucks? i have this really rad secretary skirt and a nice pair of black pumps to do that in too!....so, who wants to hire me? oh oh and i am not opposed to bloody mary's, happy hour menus, or power lunches!! i don't understand why i don't have a job already. i totally meet all the requirements for business!
check out this awesome picture i snapped of the hotness that is the london business dude:
....london business people do not mess around! they are totally my favorite part of the city. business people are the serious hotness. they power everything and that is a serious turn on. power lunch, power walk, power suits, power meetings, power happy hour, power vacay, power computer, power hail a taxi, power subway ride, power hire a hooker, power embezzle, power crush the hopes and dreams of those beneath them in order to get ahead. so hot! i want to power jasmin. i'm not exactly sure how that is different from regular jasmin-ing, but it sounds like fun. i think it just means i get to wear glasses whenever i do what i do. because i'm already really awesome at what i do. shut up, i totally do stuff! balancing drinking coffee and alcohol AND eating, and keeping up with the Target Go! designers is really hard work! oooo, i'm totally putting those on my resume!!Someone better snatch me up before i get lured in by the competition!
Labels: business people, i'm awesome, london, power
¶ 6:51 PM
:Not KBIG. it's gone. R.I.P. Disco Workout Lunch Hour.
:Gossip Girl remains the hottest show on tv. Honorable Mention: America's Most Smartest Model!!!
:The Road by the dude who wrote Blood Meridien who's name has escaped me because that book scares me so i refuse to bring it into the bedroom with me.
:* 99cent Taco Tuesdays at El Torito followed by Dollar Scoops Tuesdays at Baskin Robbins. i only eat on tuesdays.