happy fat coochday whores and sluts!! if you are a true whore/slut then today should totally be one of your favorite drinking days!!! i know how much all you dirty putas like to show your titties for some 30cent beads from some drunken trashy frat dude!!! i hope all you hookers are enjoying yourselves!!!
ok do you seriously not love this picture of paris??? this is one of the pictures that she had on her sidekick that got hacked into!! (um, obviously i used some hot photoshopping to cover up her nipples....) anyways after she took this picture she made out with some hot chick. i have that picture too but i know how some of you bitches "work" and i dont know how to do that thing where you click on a picture and you get to see the titties. so unless there is a demand for those pics y'all will just have to take my word for it.....she kisses a chick while her tittie is exposed....eh, it's not like you perverts havent seen that shit before anyways!
aight well i hope if you are a chick that your titties got the love and attention they deserved today. and if you are a dude, i hope you got to see some hot titties. i totally dont get how Mardi Gras is about boobs. it's totally about Jesus Christ and how he died for our sins. some people just have no respect. all i know is that i better see all of your dirty drunken asses at church tomorrow with some ash (no, not ASS....ASH) on your fucking foreheads!! ash wednesday is the hottest catholic day of the year, hands down!!!! i love seeing hobags with that shit on their forehead at bars and at the mall and stuff!!!! especially when it's chola's or OC trash!! YAY tomorrow!!! ¶ 10:06 PM
here are 2 of their ads for Badgley Mischka:
they are seriously so hot. i dont care what anyone says, i think they are gorgeous!!! ashley is still the hotter one but you cant beat MK and her hot anorexia. i will never choose one over the other!! they are each perfection personified!!! their walmart clothing brand should be extended to a broader age range...like 5-25. totally not kidding. anyways, these bitches are hot and i hope they offer you the cleansing you need after the two previous posts!!!
ps- the second (the olsens are one package) most beautiful thing on earth:
the hottest pet in exisence...the 33 pound cat! it is supposedly the heaviest living housecat on earth and it lives in fucking china! that's so hot!!!! it has a 31 inch waist and its owners feed it 6 pounds of chicken and pork a day!!! holy shit, that's fucking heaven! this slut is living the life i wish i could.......
when is this bitch's vagina going to open up and become the gateway to hell already!!??! i am so sick of school so i am hoping the birth of the alien will give me a good excuse to be absent for a while. i hope it's soon. it's starting to get warm and i would like to be eating ice cream while i wait for god and satan to fight over my hot soul. oh my god, i just got really excited. Team Apocalypse!Part 2: a dirty snatch plus her vagina
i love this picture. this is paris at her 25th bday party last week. her cooch looks hot. anyways, this bitch is desperate to meet Pete Doherty (the love of my life) and that scares me: "I wanted to meet Pete Doherty when I was in the UK for the Brits but he wasn't at any of the parties." apparently this bitch cites Pete as the musical inspiration for her "upcoming" album. um, whatever. that is code for my vagina would like to sniff coke off pete's belly. OMG i just got really excited again! i amaze myself.
¶ 12:10 AM
ew. them lips are out of control!!! daddy jizz totally fucks your shit up, i guess. i know, totally gross.
¶ 11:44 PM
below are some highlights.
note to readers: people in portland= not so friendly. air is beyond clean. food is said to be good. (haha, jay kay TC. the sandwich i had was delicious). there is enough coffee to make it impossible for me to ever go to sleep. the beer is hearty.
i don't know how TC and Stef stand the cold. fo realz. even on the 1 "warm" day we saw, that shit was still too fucking cold. SHIT, it was cold when we got back to LA. god was seriously trying to kill me. that bitch knows i hate anything below 60 and anything over 75...but i'd way rather die from hot than cold..mainly because hot makes you want to eat ice cream. not that cold stops me from doing that...but still......
so after a three hour delay the plane finally arrived around 1am and when i walked outside that shit was seriously shocking. i totally felt like god hated me. it was a kind of cold i've never felt before. i needed a drink............
the next day we decided to try to look at shit. it was still fucking freezing. seriously, fuck that shit. cold is poo.
.....check it out....they have a hot scientology celebrity centre there!! that was my favorite part of the city for sure! it felt like home.....
moving on......Tony took us to OMSI, which probably stand for something hot...like Oregon Museum of Science Is for hot sluts:
then we put on a hot puppet show for the childrens (yeah not really, the childrens all hated us)....
tony c. that is just sick! the poor childrens.....
the museum had some hot Cartoon Network exhibit so we checked that shit out:
i totally had to push some bitches out da way so i could get my drawring on. fucking childrens don't know what the hell they're doing!
we saw some pictures of some bitches some hoes work/used to work with....hahahaha.......EM-BARASSING!
here's good old M-dawg:
and the big C:
after laughing for a good 16 minutes, our asses took off and went outside to get some pictures of the cityscape...
dude, we totally saw an awesome real life submarine. that shit was huge. it was rad.
eventually we got the hell out of there and went to find a place to warm up....
....our asses headed into some bar/movie theatre and HELLZ YEAH, we got our beer on!
.....and it was beyond delicious!
later on that night, out host bitches took us out to an art show and then our asses went to get our WASTED on across the street at some hot bar in the Hawthorne area.....whatever that means!.....
the next day was still fucking cold.....
the next day we hit up the hot Japanese Gardens and got our tourist on......
here is this awesome frozen waterfall we saw at the garden!
that shit was awesome!
at some point i figured out how to use this hot color feature thingy on my camera....i'm hot! and fucking smart! DAMNZ!
after we hit up the garden, pringle took my ass to get some cold delicious refreshing GELATO! man that shit is soooo fucking good! i want to eat that shit in my death bed!!
after i devoured that ish, it was time to say adios to Portlandia and the goddamn freezing cold!
YAY! :) I want to take this opportunity to thank TC and Stef for being such lovely hosts!! BIG HUGS to both you dirty skanks!! had a blast!!!!
¶ 12:46 AM
I hope you all had a hot day of boning, chocolate, and cheap booze.
what is up with these three?? they are seriously monsters!!!! i for reals think we are nearing the end of the world!!! quick, put a crucifix on your door bitches!! you know these whores are blood suckers!!!
......um, for reals?!!! dude, she's such a fucking idiot.
(these are some of my favorite pics of this stupid piece of trash)
ok ew. so i guess the dumb bitch survived. i havent heard any news reports on that bitch's death so im assuming she's still alive and polluting the world with her stank ass. goddamnit i thought this would be the day!!!
in other news: ew, celeb gossip continues to suck!! i totally refuse to talk about the superbowl, by the way. i will say, though, that Begas for SuperBowl weekend is like the hottest thing ever, and if you've never been i highly recommend it. Aside from NYE, Superbowl Sunday is the other most consistent Begas partay weekend for us. I totally ate more than i've eaten in my life....and that's saying alot if you're a regular reader. Sorry the whole Superbowl thing is a little late, but yeah....that game is something i'd rather just leave in the past.
UM, so yeah......apparently the Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue is some hot shit, so y'all probably should go out and buy it! 
oh oh and today's OC episode was totally bittersweet. It included: Johnny's funeral, Marissa and her scary love for the dead dude (you guys, it's creepy), Kaitlin's return to boarding school, no new episodes until March.....
but the saving grace: the old people romance between Summer's Dad and Julie Cooper (my favorite character, after Katilin!). It's kinda......sweet...in a geriatric kinda way. ok, so they are only like 40 but it grosses me out a little. oh and it's hot that ryan totally wants to bone the dead dudes cousin!!!
ok thats it, the end.
:Not KBIG. it's gone. R.I.P. Disco Workout Lunch Hour.
:Gossip Girl remains the hottest show on tv. Honorable Mention: America's Most Smartest Model!!!
:The Road by the dude who wrote Blood Meridien who's name has escaped me because that book scares me so i refuse to bring it into the bedroom with me.
:* 99cent Taco Tuesdays at El Torito followed by Dollar Scoops Tuesdays at Baskin Robbins. i only eat on tuesdays.