holy shit bitches, i would hate for this blog to become all about the OC, but goddamn these episodes are insanely hot. i urge you, no i DEMAND that you start watching. there are only like 6 or 7 episodes left and they will only continue to get better. The biatch from thirteen was almost gone! that bitch annoys my ass but it's hot that she totally distracts boring ass ryan. i can't get over how boring ryan is. he is the lamest. blah. i never have any interest in any of his story lines. the only time ryan was not boring was in the first couple of episodes when his chino ass kept getting beat up for being from chino!! and when he inspired the line "Welcome to the OC, BITCH!". that was the hottest for sure!!!! ANYWAAYZ, marissa and volchok are totally hot together. volchok is my number one slut and i hope he doesnt die anytime soon. though he probably will. they kill everybody. god volchok is hot. (but johnny was way hotter ). volchok is doing a hot job bringing out the self-destructive side of marissa, "introducing" this bitch to coke and getting her wasted all the time. so basically the character has become autobiographical...except in real life she's boning this instead of this. (it's fucking gross. ) but yeah, i love when marissa gets trashy! like in that one season when bitch becomes an alcoholic and gets lost in TJ!!! i LOVED that part. also, the summer vs. marissa thing is kind of awesome, but i know those whores will be bff in no time. the sandy story is pretty hot too. i love his hot business people scandals. oh, and the kirsten/AA/mother-son bonding today.....totally broke my fragile heart!!!! i totally cried. dude, this ish is hot, and you better jump on it before it's too late!!!
¶ 9:29 PM
the remaining eps. will be even hotter!!! volchok is my new favorite character. he's trash so that makes him hot. i dont even care if mini cooper (kaitlin) comes back!! marissa did the right thing getting rid of ryan, who is still boring even though he's making sweetness with the chick who was in thirteen! that bitch is a SLUT. well in thirteen she was. im glad the oc and i have reconciled. i passed on all of season 2 and a lot of the beginning of season 3. trashy characters are the only way to hold my interest, and they have plenty of them now.... you bitches should watch. it's getting goood. ¶ 10:03 PM
ok, so contactmusic.com has this article where they say American journalist, Mark Binelli, was interviewing my Pete for Rolling Stone and that during the interview my crackhead shot up, dropped E, and smoked some crack, of course!
"Writer MARK BINELLI met the BABYSHAMBLES frontman and former boyfriend of supermodel KATE MOSS in a rundown flat in the Hackney area of London. Binelli says, "Over the next three hours, Doherty will also smoke crack, shoot heroin and take an ecstasy pill. "He does all of this casually, and openly, except for the shooting up, which he performs near the kitchenette, with his back to us. He offers me heroin and ecstasy but not crack. I decline. "The more drugs Doherty does, the more he seems to relax. He never becomes incoherent, though occasionally he seems confused.""
omg this bitch is seriously so hot! it's no wonder i love him so much. i think the reason i love this bitch is because he doesn't give a fuck. i really think that's like totally hot. like he can no longer help the fact that he is a crazy crack fiend, so like why should he pretend he isn't. or why should some Rolling Stone interview keep him from his routine. if this bitch was a diabetic, he would be shooting the insulin! totally the same shit. ok not really. but whatever. crackheads are WAAAAAY more entertaining than diabetics. (when is the last time you saw a diabetic wearing a dress over his head while he sang songs in the park???? yeah, exactly. i really really hope that one day whitney houston will live with the same nonchalance as pete doherty! i would give anything to see that bitch smoke the crack out in public!! for reals. it would be hot. not that crack is hot, but i like tragic falls from grace, especially through the eyes of the media. i love when tabloids get a hot story because their headlines are basically written by crackheads so you know......it pretty much all comes full circle!!) anyways, this slut is totally cracktarded and i couldn't love him more.....
in the words of the immortal 2pac: "...and even as a crack fiend mama, you always was a black queen mama..."
disclaimer:*i in no way endorse or support crack, unless you are pete or whitney, because they really need that shit, otherwise, i totally think crack is disgusting.*
¶ 8:14 PM
¶ 5:37 PM
Chola
What exactly are you wearing right now?
a XXXL sweatshirt my brother bought me at the 5 for $10 t-shirt store that has a HUGE screenprint of La Virgen de Guadalupe that's off-center. it was 2$. it's my fave., black "skinny" jeans (i refuse to call them tapered), a plastic diamond ring.
What is your current problem?
gossip, always
What do you love most?
television and booze and people
What makes you most happy?
profiteroles and jameson whiskey
If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
i would have warned brit brit of her future and saved us all from the atrocity that is KFED
Ever have a near death experience?
oh my god several. all of them have been hot too.
Name an obvious quality you have.
psychic. trust me, you can tell.
What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
i dont know but it begins with the new Sean Paul song in my head and then i end up singing Grillz out loud......"smile for me daddy, what you lookin at, let me see ya grill, let me see my whaaat, ya, ya grill, ya, ya, ya grill"!! oh my god that song is hot!
Any celeb you would marry?
UH, HELLO!!!!!!!!! about 20. actually i hate marriage. the only way i would get married is if i was a cast member of Footballers Wives, and i got to wear a trashy wedding dress and throw champagne in someone's face.
Who will cut and paste this first?
popo zao
Name someone with the same birthday as you.
my friend karthika. oh oh and enrique iglesias!!! awww yeah.
Do you have a crush on someone?
i have a crush on anything i come into contact with, anything.
Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
i have vandalized someones privates. does that count?
Have you ever been in a fight?
yes. i beat a bitch down and broke the door of the kitchen at the Tempest years ago!!!
ok, fine, i didnt beat anyone down. we were seperated before i could get to her and the door broke when my friend kicked it...but i still got banned from the place.
Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
no. can't sing, too lazy, hate karaoke. it will never happen.
What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
if they are or are not pete doherty
What do you usually order from Starbucks?
tall iced coffee unsweetened
Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
everytime i put a tube steak in my mouth. (HOT DOGS, you sick bitches! god.)
Say something totally random about you.
sdfksfankngknd
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
yes. usually when in some other country some kid will tell me i look like a random, old not really a celebrity anymore celebrity (ie: liz taylor, sophia loren, brooke shields, sylvester stallone- not kidding...) so i will buy gum from him. it always works. what can i say, im an easy sell.
How old are you?
however old you think i am
Do you wear a watch?
not usually. only when i go to begas.
Do you have anything pierced?
ears
Do you like to shop?
no :)
What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
french food and wine!
What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
groceries
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
brian
What is on your desktop background?
this:
What is on the background of your cell?
this:
Do you like redheads?
no- them bitches are shady.
Do you know any twins?
yes. the olsens. duh. oh yeah in real life i know a few pairs.
Do you have any weird relatives?
i have idiot relatives. is that the same thing?
What was the last movie you watched?
Reds
What was the last book you read?
Exile's Return - Malcom Cowley
What is your favorite pair of pants that you own?
no pants. my favorite article of clothing is the lycra mini dress with a giant print of the mona lisa on it
Do you like to party?
no :)
¶ 3:54 PM
actually, the real reason i haven't been posting is because there ain't shit going on. it's seriously all the same crap.....Angelina and her wife being boring.....Tomkat and the pillow being boring.....Paris Hilton and her herpes being boring.....Jessica Simpson and her cooch being boring.....Britney and her gut being boring. i totally feel like Charlie sniffing Sundae's ass is more exciting than celeb news and i don't really feel it's right to exploit their love on my blog.
television is the only thing that has been keeping me sane.....and with the end ofProjRun, the end of Flavor of Love, and Brad's release from the gauntlet 2,i present you with my new Top 3 shows to watch because tabloids and gossip blogs are boring:
#1) ANTM!!!! because duh, it's ANTM!!!!! and because fourfour does an amazing recap of the show and is what i look forward to even more than the show itself. (if i've never mentioned fourfour before it's only because i am a selfish whore who likes to laugh alone!! but i really have become quite attatched to you bitches and will allow myself to share, just this one time. aside from past ANTM seasons he has also covered the entire seasons of: ProjRun, the Whitney Houston show: Being Bobby Brown (ha), and other gems.....relive it all through his "Categories" archive! the man is a genius.).
#2) 8th and Ocean. that show is pure trash. "teen" "models" living in miami interacting a'la Laguna Beach (the show is produced by the same people), which if you loved Laguna Beach you will understand what i mean (the bad camera handling, the awkward capturing of "emotion", the obvious script, the intentional reality of it all)!!!! it rules!!!! plus everyone is super hot. example: Sabrina, Briana, Talesha, Teddy. But my favorite of all is agency owner, Irene, because the botox makes it really hard for her to talk and it's awesome to watch her try!!! she's totally disgusting!!!!
i LOVE her.
collect them all: 8th and Ocean Cast
#3) Footballers Wives. The Scandal. The Super Trash. The Delciousness!!!!! it's dallas, dynasty, passions, and posh spice melted down into one hour episodes!! this show gives me goosebumps. Past storylines include: an anorexic glamour model named Chardonnay who's tits get set on fire and who is obsessed with a hermaphrodite child (chardonnay eventually dies from anorexia), a murdered poodle that later turns up as dog curry and is fed to it's owner's guests at a dinner party (a guest finds a dog tag in her curry!!!), baby swapping which leads one of the bitches to having to spray tan her baby, and lots of hot boning, hot champagne drinking, and hot bitchiness. Watch season 5 on BBCAmerica.
i love you pete doherty. i really really do. seriously, bitches, there is something wrong with me. anyways, i hope this bitch makes it to 2007. eh, actually i really don't care. if he dies i bet kate moss would wear someting super hot to his funeral. that bitch always looks hot. ¶ 11:49 PM
#1) BRAD WAS ELIMINATED from the gauntlet II! i know!!! totally lame! i was sooo hurt. seriously, he fills my life with more neanderthal than i could ever need and i love him dearly for it. god, i am sick. why do i love him so much???? i need help.
#2) Slutino lost the Proj Run. Lame!!!!! True, he totally did not deserve to win. But i think the way they made it obvious he was 3rd place was so sad. His collection was WAAAAAAAAAY hotter than Daniel's! ugh,i was disgusted. Daniel is no longer hot nor are his clothes. Chloe's shit was tight though. im glad bitch won. i totally want to go visit her store in Houston when im sick of laziness. even though the bitch gets on my nerves i cant deny the hotness of her designs and tailoring!!!
and finally....#3)TWO HOURS OF America's Next Top Model back to back premier!! oh my god it was so delicious!!!!! i cant get into it because i get WAY too excited (and im too lazy to recall all the hot happenings of the 2 hours) but this season will be RAAAAD!! every bitch is ugly! every one of them! and there's a katrina victim!! so you know Tyty will totally exploit her! it will rule!!
um im sure there was more hot tv than that but i was not about to interrupt the lazy and check. i doubt the OC was that hot because i hadnt seen any commercials that teased me with anything super salacious so i dont think i missed much. I doubt it was more entertaining than sitting for 3 hours at the gayest gay themed hamburger restaurant in Newport Beach (Hamburger Mary's) with my friends Kevs and Dez and Dez's rad cross-dressing co-worker Johno.
me and johno......he totally wore that veil all night:
kevs, me and Dez........
johno and dez hit up the mary-oke:
ok so at Mary's the waiters are outrageously gay and call you bitch and white trash and are basically totally attitude with you. our waiter told us he spit in our water and called me an old hag! he also told us that straight people are a disease. he only liked Johno. it was sooooo hot. there's also karaoke (which they call Mary-oke...HOT!), a drag show, and some other superly stereotypically gay shenanigans. it is decorated with legs that come out of the the ceiling and portraits of sluts that gays love and guitars (totally random)...oh oh, and you can sign up to become a very important mary (i have no idea what priviliges that carries but im sure its something truly fabulous!)...... you totally have to go.......but go drunk.....
p.s. i tried to get pictures of the place itself but my camera stopped working after the mary-oke action...so you'll just have to go see for yourselves!
p.p.s. there is one on Santa Monica Blvd., but i think the one in Newport might be bigger and gayer! seriously it was the best experience ive ever had. better than Mideival Times! it was so god awful!!!!!!!
¶ 11:35 AM
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NIPPLE, NIPPLE, NIPPLE!!!....
YAY!! the end. you made it!!! yay for you!!! i told you bitches these were no big deal. don't blame me. i just love that she took these pictures with her sidekick. that's hot. i also love that the password to her sidekick was "Tinkerbell". that's totally hott. i also love that she is the dumbest bitch to ever exist. that's the hottest!!!
¶ 8:56 PM
Paris Hilton has been casted as Mother Theresa in some biopic directed by T. Rajeevnath.
He said: "The preliminary script has been readied. And the proceeds of the film would go to the Missionaries of Charity. By June this year, the groundwork for the film would be complete and I propose to begin shooting in West Bengal and several foreign countries in early 2007."
She said: "It's such an honour. I'm so excited. I really want to learn more about this amazing woman, so that's what I'm doing in a few months."
I say: the world is ending bitches!! TAKE SHELTER!!!!! ¶ 12:37 AM
:Not KBIG. it's gone. R.I.P. Disco Workout Lunch Hour.
:Gossip Girl remains the hottest show on tv. Honorable Mention: America's Most Smartest Model!!!
:The Road by the dude who wrote Blood Meridien who's name has escaped me because that book scares me so i refuse to bring it into the bedroom with me.
:* 99cent Taco Tuesdays at El Torito followed by Dollar Scoops Tuesdays at Baskin Robbins. i only eat on tuesdays.
