an uneventful post im totally behind on the oc. today i watched the episode when taylor tries to seduce ryan by being annoying then giving him chinese tea and when mini cooper has a crush on her super fine tennis instructor but then her whore mother who i love more than anyone else on the show makes out with him. im bummed about the show getting canceled. im glad im behind by several weeks because the pain will be prolonged. pretty much the show is the most boring thing ever. but i put up with that shit. i'm into that love and commitment crap. i don't think i'm ready to break up. anyway. jude law is still beautiful. i feel no shame objectifying him because he is delicious and that's what happens when you are delicious so i'm sure he doesn't mind. seriously though....can you honestly tell me you couldn't stare at that picture i posted all day? yeah, i'm totally twelve years old.  ¶ 11:49 PM

  (part two of a series) why i have always, and will always love jude law

and....



um....seriously.  ¶ 2:07 AM

  why i have always, and will always love coco chanel ....because that slut was a bitchy ass hoe with hot taste!! and that's seriously everything i aspire to be. actually it's no longer an aspiration because if you ask any of my friends they'll probably tell you i got the "bitchy ass hoe" part down. unless i just met you and then you'll think i'm a nice person. which i am....but mostly i am a nice person with "bitchy ass hoe" always lurking. but in a funny way. i don't mean any harm. wow, talking about myself is so fun.

so did you know coco was like way poor and then she slept with hot rich dudes and was able to open a store? also, she was a cabaret singer and that's where she got her nickname coco....man, if that doesn't wreak of hoe i don't know what does! (maybe Chanel No.5, that shit is not hot smelling AT ALL....which actually makes a lot of sense now...) yeah anyway, she did that crap then released her stinky perfume, then she made a hot dress suit for ladies which is now a hot business lady staple, and she also created the hottest little black dress ever. oh she also invented one of the hottest classiest purses ever, the hot quilted purse with a chain strap. and then, um...i dont know....she just stayed hot forever. she never got married and lived at the ritz and had fabulous people around her all the time!!! dude, totally living the hottest life! bitch was seriously lucky. room service forever is my dream come true....

eventually the insane karl lagerfeld took over and continued to make the hotness over at casa de chanel. he's still there. karl lagerfeld is one of the awesomest people alive today and one day i will tell you why...but for now just know he wrote a masterpeice of a book that has done humanity a great service and he should win a Pulitzer...it's called The Karl Lagerfeld Diet and it's seriously fucking amazing!!! and then he started making these really fantastic shirts on the side (not for chanel) with his hot face screen printed on them and then charged like $200 for them!!!

ok i know my little chanel biography up there is probably not that accurate and it pretty much does her whole life story no justice, but it's not like you sluts really want to read. do you hoes even know how to read? you just come here to look at my pictures huh? that's hot. JUST KIDDING! i know you hoes can read...but you don't like it cos you're lazy hookers, i get it. so here's some pictures:









more reading, but these are hot because they are quotes by lady coco:

"A woman should be two things: classy and fabulous."

"The opposite of luxury is not poverty. The opposite of luxury is vulgarity."

“There have been several Duchesses of Westminster—but there is only one Chanel!”

so hot. but still not as hot as my favorite quote of all time ever....

"i wasn't born, i was ordered from room service" - zsa zsa gabor

me too zsa zsa, me too.....

(i think i need to stop drinking coffee past 8pm.)  ¶ 1:31 AM

  beautiful people have more important birfdays than anyone else seriously. they do.

i heart you kate moss. if i were to die, you are the only person i would want to come back looking like. just looking like though because if i were to die i'd totally want to come back as Zsa Zsa Gabor ....but with kate moss' hot face...because Zsa Zsa looks like my grandma. also, kate moss is really retarded when it comes to life decisions. Zsa Zsa is much hotter at that. Doing Green Acres was brilliant (correction: i got this bitch mixed up with her whore of a sister, eva! my bad, bitches. i should have fact checked that shit...she's still hot because she married a bunch of rich dudes and got mad money from her divorces though). And slapping people is always awesome. damnit, actually if i came back as Naomi Campbell i'd be the perfect woman. scratch the whole post. i heart Naomi.

happy birfday kate moss. i wish you lots of hot uninfected drug sex with your gross but seriously hot and crazy boyfriend Pete Doherty. you are living the life i don't want but kind of do because you are hot and your boyfriend is scary and that's really funny to me.

  ¶ 12:51 PM

  i want some!!!!


mostly this shit is kind of boring, but it's hot because when you are watching you don't know if this ho is going to fall off whatever she's sitting on!! i totally love it when i'm so wasted that i don't know if i'm going to fall off a chair..so fun.

actually i do believe paula is really just exhausted. when i had to stay up all night to write papers on crap i hated i would be exactly like her when i would go to class to turn my brilliant shit in....greasy bangs and all. (apparently her rep is claiming exhaustion and not substance abuse for her behavior or whatever). really like it matters. it's hot to watch this bitch all messy and fucked up no matter what. that bitch is nutty and i love it. she's totally divorced. remember i told you about divorced people..nutty and slutty! i am still thankful! (if you are divorced and are niether nutty or slutty, then i don't mean you. but if you're divorced you probably are so nevermind...) just kidding baginas. i totally heart divorce.

ps- isn't she kind of:


so hot.  ¶ 12:12 AM

  boring girl crap


really boring girl crap! read on if you are a girl or like to get bored. i mean actually it's not even girl crap, it's boring fashion crap. (yes, i'm sexist.)

so yesterday i bought the new issue of Teen Vogue and it is totally the hottest issue of Teen Vogue in a long long time. it's totally hot in a boring girl way because there is nothing fucked up about it to make it hot....it's just hot because ALL of the clothes are amazing. there's a hot article about how girls hate themselves because everyone calls everyone fat. that's hot because regular vogue would never write that story because they would be the first to call you fat and then laugh at you. even if you aren't. ANYWAY, it's hot.

hotter than that is the article about the totally totally FAAAABUUULLOOOUUUSS!!! Proenza Schouler coming to TARGET! that might be boring news to some people but that is seriously one of the hottest things i've ever heard of! hotter than Viktor and Rolf at H&M. Hotter than Karl Lagerfeld putting his face on T-shirts. Hotter than hello kitty home accessories! i am stoked.

so yeah, if you're into that crap, you should seriously buy the new Teen Vogue. and don't be put off by the fug on the cover. i know, i almost passed on this issue. i guess that whole not judging crap because it's ugly is true. well sometimes. (ok i had to get the picture from ebay because even the teen vogue site won't put that mess up. wow, i am such a bitch. but seriously, that picture is so not cute.)

ps- is anyone (besides me, of course) watching the new season of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency? it is absolutely the worst show in all of television. it's awesome.  ¶ 3:18 PM

  Being on time is so 2006....
  ¶ 5:54 PM