like 2 years later im glad blogs dont get dusty. i can't believe it's been two years since a post.
graduating college and not sitting in haunted libraries has made me lazy.
and boring.

i miss you blogworld.

xoxo

Labels: im still a dumb slut. some things will never change.

  ¶ 10:09 PM

  holy shit the part about how i die scared me. i almost believe the internets is more powerful than my mom and walter mercado put together.....

ps-i know it's shitty to be posting internets quizzes instead of like, real posts....but....i'm, like, really lazy....thinking is boring.

Your Deadly Sins

Pride: 100% Lust: 80% Greed: 80% Envy: 80% Gluttony: 40% Sloth: 40% Wrath: 20% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 63% You will die of malnutrition, after the Olson twins make dying of malnutrition trendy.

Labels: my mom, nerd quizzes are still better than surveys, the internets, the olsens, walter mercado

  ¶ 12:11 AM

  boobs

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Kate Moss

god i love the internets.


oh yeah and go get yours checked!(your boobs, not your internets) cos isn't it like boob month? i just remembered now. this boob post was totally a coincidence i swear.

Labels: boobs, the internets

  ¶ 11:24 PM

  not being a marshmallow is annoying serio.


so since deciding to, like, not put corndogs in my mouth every hour on the hour for the sake of being an olsen, i haven't gotten any less marshmallow-y AT ALL. what the hell. also, boot camp kept making me fat so i ditched that shit and didn't go the last week. i should have known better. the teacher was mega old. old people don't know how to be hot. i've done a richard simmons video, i know what i'm talking about.

anyway i think i'm over not being a marshmallow. winter is a good time for being one anyway because people love putting marshmallows in their hot chocolate and i would love to float in some hot chocolate!! yay. i guess i'll just invest in some glamorous moo moo's and not worry about it anymore. it'll make getting ready for holiday parties so much easier. so if you're having one, i'll be there ready to eat all of your free food! yay.

in other news: jude law is still delicious. yay.

ok im going to go cut up some butter for dinner now.

Labels: i'm a marshmallow and i'm ok with it, Jude Law is hot

  ¶ 7:27 PM

  a few things, probably a few too many today has been a day of many revelations.

i will share them now:

revelation #1) things labeled "mini" in the frozen foods section do not guarantee "the delicious"!! it's all a SHAM. you'd think because your favorite junk food has been shrunken down, that also, the flavor would be intensified thereby making it the closest thing to heaven on earth that you can come to....right? WRONG. i feel so betrayed.

in my effort to ingest as many corndogs in one lifetime as is humanly possible, i bought a box of mini corndogs. what most attracted me to this item was:

a) that on the box, they are not sure how many corndogs each box has. they list the count as 18-20. you rarely find this kind of inconsistency these days, so that was a plus!

b)they are mini. what's not to be attracted to.

c)they are corndogs.

i got them at Henry's so immediately I dismissed the fact that they were Foster Farms brand. that was my first mistake. needless to say, they are disgusting. i made 4 in the microwave because im too impatient to put anything in the oven. i doubt the oven would have done much for them anyways. i won't describe anything because i don't want to put myself through that again!!!

how can a corndog NOT be delicious? it's seriously too agonizing for me to consider...so i won't. i'll just pretend the whole thing was a nightmare.

in any case, consider yourselves warned.

(it's also available in 40-44...seriously though, isn't the quantity count totally charming? i'm such a a sucker for these things!)


revelation #2) the new season of ANTM will disappoint once again. If you watched tonite, you should have noticed that during the Miss J Runway Challenge at the beginning....there was a girl who was singled out for a quick second (although she truly deserved alot more screen time solely because of her name.) she really had what is possibly the best name i've ever ever ever ever ever heard, seen, even been aware existed and i wish Tyra had kept her. Spontaniouse, you were cut too soon! Spontaniouse. spelled just like that. sadly, i couldnt find a picture of her. Tyra always lets the really good ones go.



revelation #3) the new WB series which comes on right after ANTM is the most perfect thing on television. I stayed home by accident, but now i realize it was no accident. Fate brought us together. Gossip Girl, i'm totally yours.







revelation #4) I hate the Target Go! campaign. at first, i was really excited because they had some seriously hot designers coming in and out...but everytime i would go, i would find it really disheartening. everytime!!

the cut of the clothing is crap, the fabrics are crap; i don't get the point. i'm pretty sure the featured designers had nothing to do with the cut and fabrics because there is no way that a label like Proenza or any of the others would ever make anyone wear that crap. totally no way.

i went to target today because the new designer is Alice Temperley....her stuff is seriously gorgeous! She makes fabulously chic and feminine clothing and while the stuff at Target looks hot on the hangers, it doesn't when it's on, like, an actual person. trust. bleh. the fit is fug. always. no matter who's design.



(oh oh and if you cared....the same goes for the Vera Wang crap at Kohl's. it's crap. don't bother.)

revelation #5) if you've never read anything by Dave Eggers, youre doing yourself a huge disservice. serio.

revelation #6) i'm not sure if it's the nano commercial that is making me have to confront this, but i have come to realize that Feist's songs give me anxiety. big time. i have no explanation for this.....they just do. it's weird, i know....but Coldplay does the same thing to me. and it's not good anxiety. i get nervous and uncomfortable and as much as i fight....i can't defeat it. on the flip, i can listen to Umbrella over and over and over again and while it does make me want to shove an Um-ba-rella-ella-ella-ella-ey up Rhianna's ass...it doesn't give me anxiety.

revelation #7) Poquito Mas is just ok.i've heard alot about Poquito Mas but hadn't actually been to one so, as i mentioned a few posts ago, i made E take me so i could do some investigative reporting. or something.

the menu, i must say, is a nice change from that of Baja Fresh's or Rubio's. I had some kind of special. I didn't know what it was but i was starving and it said something about cheese and a bell pepper and i went for it.

what i got was a thick tortilla on which the stuffed pepper was sliced on top of. then, on top of and inside of the pepper was a bunch of gooey white cheese, a whole bunch of chicken, and a mango salsa. it came with a giant side of rice and beans. i also ordered one mini taco (im consistent).


E ordered a burrito mojado and it came to him kind of cold, which made it crap. also the mojado sauce was chefboyardee-ish. not bueno. the inside of the burrito was aight.

overall the food was ok. it was better than most places and they really do give you alot! the only thing i didn't really find ok was the salsa. it totally wasn't fresh looking, nor tasting...so that kind of bothered me.
otherwise...i'd go back, though i'm not sure that i'd pass up a trip to Chipotle for it.....and that's the trufe! goddamnit i love chipotle. i dont care that it's owned by McDonalds as every person feels the need to tell me. i dont give a fuck foo....i love mcdonalds too, dayum.

Labels: revelations for 20th of September 2007

  ¶ 11:48 PM

  special lady slut update your whore prayers are something powerful for sure!!!

it was a really intense and emotional weekend with my #1 bitch in the hospital but the lady pulled through... :) while she's not fully fully recovered, she's getting there and i'm hoping once we take her off the temporary medications the vet prescribed her, she'll be back to being her usual anti-charlie (our other dog) lady slut! (she hates charlie, but is actually quite tolerant of him these days since she's on a drug that basically sedates her. it's rad.)

she actually was not just suffering from an Addisonian Crisis...but also had fluid in her brain and we really almost lost her. it was very scary, but the vet was able to catch it all in time! anyway, thanks to anyone who read and took a little time to say a hot doggy slut prayer for my Sundae!

x's and o's, ho's!!!!

Labels: sundae is a hot bitch and she's doing much better

  ¶ 10:18 PM

  a special request for a special lady slut! my number one lady slut Sundae is in the hospital today. she recently had a rabies vaccine which caused her body a little too much stress than she was able to handle and sent her into a kind of shock. she suffers from Addison's Disease which is related to her adrenal glands. she's had this forever and has been on lifetime meds for this which has enabled her to lead a totally normal and hot doggy life, most of the time!!!

however, sometimes certain situations can trigger her to have more stress than she can handle and for some reason after her vaccine she went in to a state of Adisonian Crisis, which can be fatal. i'm pretty sure she'll pull through but i'm sure she'll totally feel the love if you sluts can say a little hot slut prayer for my #1 ho. she's been with me since i was 14 so she's seen me mature and turn into the ho that i am!!! i guess that would cause trauma to anyone!! poor lady!! anyway, i know she'll be ok because she's totally a trooper but i thought a little extra hot slut love wouldn't hurt! :) thanks hobags and ill keep you updated!

Labels: sundae is a hot bitch literally

  ¶ 2:18 PM

  Glamorous Ladies of the VMA's! oh no....this set of pictures is also making me parched and hungry.....actually the entire show made me feel parched and hungry AND sleepy!!!!! what happened for 2 hours? it was all so confusing!!! some one make it make sense to me!!!!

Labels: boring boring boring, television, the VMA's were crappier than ever

  ¶ 1:02 PM

  milfs make good fitness buddies, followed by Britney Spears has a new song.... it's true. MILFs are hot for working out with.

im trying to not be such a marshmallow for 2008 so i enlisted in this hot MILF boot camp. it's not advertised as a MILF bootcamp but i knew it'd be mom central since a)it's in Brea and b) it's at 8am Monday-Friday. Only MILFs have that kind of time to spend working on their fitness. actually only MILFs work on their fitness at that god forsaken time! 8AM!! well....and me, now.
it's gay. it's awesome. it's making me fat. (im not even kidding. since starting bootcamp, i've gained 5 pounds and my skinny jeans are now sausage casings. im the sausage.) anyway, we'll see how week 2 goes. im currently mostly buddies with an early-40's MILF who's the wife of a lawyer. she's from the country of Montenegro and one day during a cardio hike day, she spent the hour telling me her whole life story which inclued the following details:

she was a dancer(? what kind, i did not dare ask) in Montenegro, a country near Serbia and she got some kind of "dance scholarship" to "teach dance" in France when she was like 20 or something but renounced it to get married to a man she only dated for two weeks.

when she realized that she'd rather buy a kitchen pan than a hot bra was when she realized that she was a grown up. she told me i should look out for that day myself. (she seriously told me that! so hot.)

she has 5 childrens. 2 girls, 1 boy, and one set of twins (boys also).

she still has the hots for her hubby. the lawyer. (i didn't really need to know this)

during our hike we came across a group of high school dudes on the running path and she told me we had to run faster becuase she "didn't want eyes on her bouncing behind"!!! dude. she's rad. she totally has an accent and she totally has to be mail order. has to be. so hot.

the other milfs are aight, but she's my fave. she also always lies to our coach and tells her she did mad push ups but that she did them really fast so that's why our coach didn't see her. HAHAHA. LIES!! coach hates her. she also pulls the "my english isn't good" card like every chance she gets. coach hates her alot. it's the best class ever.


this is hot too. i can't wait to see this train wreck at the VMA's next week!!!!



"It's Britney, Bitch!"

Labels: britney spears gimme more, i'm still a marshmallow, MILF bootcamp

  ¶ 7:39 PM

  oh also.... RIP Leona Helmsley. you were a crazy ass ho that should have probably been dead a long time ago judging from yo tore up face.




is that mean? cos that was an homage.

Labels: crazy hos, hot people, rest in peace queen of mean

  ¶ 11:24 PM