oh also.... RIP Leona Helmsley. you were a crazy ass ho that should have probably been dead a long time ago judging from yo tore up face.




is that mean? cos that was an homage.

Labels: crazy hos, hot people, rest in peace queen of mean

  ¶ 11:24 PM

  I heart Jeff Lewis. (this is a really horrible youtube video, but it's the only one available!!so pipe down hobags!)


Homegirl is hot. i fucking love this gay. he is exactly who i want to be. he's nuts and hot and succsessful and...nuts!!!! and he knows he's nuts which is extra hot!!! plus, he has really good taste and doesnt take crap from his staff (most of the time) and he has a hot housekeeper named Zoila that im pretty sure is Salvie and he's kind of selfish but in a hot way and he's into psychics and spiritual readers and he's all paranoid about crap and he's hot!!! i'm really into this ho. i wish he would adopt me. Jeff Lewis, if you're reading this....holla at'cha girl!

Labels: crazy hos, hot people, i love jeff lewis, television

  ¶ 10:36 PM

  the hot song post for march - all timbaland edition i know i do this alot. but i can't help it. i am a total sucker for hot songs with big boobs. or the equivalent of that in jasmin-music world: which is, a hot club song with lyrics that could have been found in a slutty thirteen year old's diary!!!!

timbaland has been laying down the hotness for a really long ass time. he basically IS missy elliot (and by that i mean: you know how in that one video from the 90's with the fat dude singing behind a curtain with like a harmonica or some shit and there's like not fat dudes singing to the crowd, but really the fat dude is the one with all the talent...well, timbaland is kind of like that, but he's not fat. missy is.) anyway, i forgot what i was talking about and im too lazy to go up and re read it....but timbaland is a hot producer who sometimes puts out his own tracks when he's not being the fat dude with the harmonica behind missy elliot's curtain. except he's not fat. missy is.

here are two of timbaland's current projects:

one is the hotness that is the Omarion ballad featuring Timbaland about Omarion having a refrigerator/freezer instead of a heart! i totally relate, which is why i like this song. please don't think i'm kidding. the actual lyric is "..i got a icebox where my heart used to be.." so....there. i think i have a gelato maker where my heart used to be. i'm seriously made of carbohydrates. soft ones!!



the second one is the hotness that is the Timbaland song, featuring Nelly "boring but hot" Furtado, and Justin "hot but embarassing" Timberlake. Not only does Nelly do a hot job singing on this track, Timbaland shit talks Scott Storch (who is seriously the biggest douchebag looking dude ever!), but also....Justin tries to talk shit to Prince, which is really fucked up but hot because prince doesn't give a shit about that bitch, i'm sure. he's too busy being hot in begas shaking his ass for me and providing people in suits with braids and tambourines an unforgettable night. he is also busy being too sexy for middle aged nerds with tables with VIP bottle service who don't drink while i drooled over their grey goose bottles and over prince's ass while trying to get shit-faced on $15 dollar drinks, and totally succeeding, but still drooling over bottle service and tambourines and prince's ass. or something. wait, what? i forgot what i was talking about again.....




other timbaland-affected hotnessess include but are not limited to:
Pony by Ginuwine (hot)
Try Again by Aaliyah (pretty hot)
Oops (Oh My) by Tweet (extremely hot)
Big Pimpin by Jay-Z (hot)
Snoop Dog (What's My Name part 2) by Snoop Dogg (way hot)
Diamond Dogs by Beck (totally hot)
Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake (pretty hot)
Put You On The Game by The Game (westside hot!)
and like pretty much most of the new Nelly Furtado album (hot), most of the new Justin Timberlake album (hot), and the whole Missy Elliott library or whatever (not hot, but what can you do...those bitches grew up together...)

....he's also releasing an album (which will feature the song i posted) in April. For that album he has reportedly collaborated with Elton John, Bjork, Dr. Dre, and some other hot and not so hot people.

Labels: hot people, hot songs, hot videos, my heart is a gelato maker, timbaland is hot

  ¶ 12:41 AM

  a good time remember when i told you about the of montreal show? well, this video is basically what it was like at the show. pretty much, kind of, but not really. this is also basically what i want my birthday party in may to be like. pretty much, kind of, but...not really. it's hot:







oh my god, i really want to marry kevin barnes. or rollerskate with him or something. he's fabulous.

Labels: hot people, hot videos, of montreal

  ¶ 11:33 AM

  liz taylor is hot shit at 75! does it really take 75 years to master the perfect birthday outfit? i hope not. i think this is where learning from the accomplishments of others would do me some good.

HAPPY 3/4 CENTURY LIZ!!! you're still hot and i heart your diamonds and your white diamonds perfume commercial!!!! you're so dynasty! and you're a true hot slut's hero!!! and i was jk about you not being able to eat cake! you totally should. but then you should probably puke it out!

Labels: cake, diamonds, hot people, liz taylor, wheelchairs

  ¶ 10:59 AM

  progress.... dude..............i am still so totally bored. everyone i know has like, things to do. like real things. so lame. i totally tried to call people today and everyone was all,"i have a job.." blah blah blah. so gross. the only person i know who does even less than i do is my brother! and he sleeps all day, so i can't even not do things with him!! it's pretty sad guys. you should really feel sorry for me. it is so hard to be the only person with nothing to do but drink coffee, plan her birthday parties for the next three years, and watch E!'s all day Oscar Red Carpet coverage over and over and over because she's too lazy to change the channel (this is serious, i am so lazy i can not even pick the remote up and get rid of Ryan Seacrap's face...my god, he is the most annoying elf on the planet!!....and i don't even like awards shows!!).

so in between all the self imposed responsibilities i mentioned above, i decided to call up a temp agency and schedule an interview! totally stoked. im going tomorrow and they told me to dress "professional". This is totally the hottest thing that has been on my to-do list since...hm...i think this is the first thing that has been on my to do list all year. I hope they find my Manila Folder and Starbucks drink professional enough. I hope they place me somewhere awesome too, where there is a watercooler and middle aged people and um...whatever office people make jokes about that i never understand. i'll let you know how it goes.

ps- i totally forgot to mention a while ago that i went to the Of Montreal show at the Troubador. My Scissor Sisters post totally reminded me how stoked i was about this:

isn't that the hotness, for reals? Thanks to Kristen and Andy for letting me borrow a space on their hot camera for this!! Of Montreal is seriously hot shit and they are really fucking awesome live. Kevin (the lead ho) totally puts on an awesome show!! he totally came out in a bunch of different outfits throughout the course of the show, including but not limited to: denim cut off shorts, a giant lobster claw on one hand, something super glittery and sequined, um....some really long giant dress that he had to get on a ladder to wear, and some other stuff i dont remember because this was almost a month ago.

i think half of the people there were either scared or disgusted! it was awesome. i dont even get why people would be either of those things but you know how it is...people are lame.

there were alot of people that did their best to get their dance on but the lame people totally outnumbered the hot people so that kind of sucked. kevin barnes is way way way hot though, so that made up for all the lame people who were afraid of glitter and gayness.

that entourage dude was there and he was not afraid of glitter. and it was the HOT entourage dude too! i dont watch that show, but i know who that dude is...well after it was pointed out to me. i know him more as the hot dude from the classic Melissa Joan Hart film: "Drive Me Crazy"!

anyway, y'all should totally check them out next time they play! they totally do the outback steak house song, but not the outback steak house version...even though that was requested by someone in the audience!!

Outback Steak House Version:


Troubador Version:



Music Video Version:

Labels: bored, hot concerts, hot people, hot songs, i need a job, jobs

  ¶ 5:48 PM

  when awesome-ness unites! this is kind of old, but i never get sick of it because ......

a)passions is hot shit
and
b) the scissor sisters are even hotter shit...

it's totally weird and retarded...so it only makes sense that i love it:

......yes, this is totally a coping mechanism for my heartbreak. losing both, passions AND the oc, is more than i can handle. i can't even start to comment on the oc....

ok, i totally need a job.

Labels: hot people, hot shows, i need a job, passions, the oc

  ¶ 10:41 AM

  a sucker for assholes! ok so the debut of the promised hotness that is Vh1's 'The Agency' is only about 6 minutes in and i am already head over heels in love with this shit!! it's totally mean to wanna be model ho's! but just the girls. they're totally nice to the dudes! i heart it. girls already have low self esteem and these ruthless bitches tell them they're fat and ugly!!! ike turner would be proud! actually, add Joe Simpson, and Beyonce's svengali father, and probably Britney's mom, and Dinah Lohan to that list. Oh and Drew Barrymore's mom too. oh and Joan Crawford, because she was really bitchy. and Janice Dickinson too. man, see how hot this show is!!! the agents on this show do not fuck around....this show is all business! and you know how i feel about that!! i hope the models go on power-puking binges!!! i can't wait to see the eating disorders and mental breakdowns and for them to keep calling skinny people fat. hahahahhaah, that always cracks me up! they are totally ruining lives...we have so much in common already!! ok, i'm going to go throw up dinner for dessert now, i think a commercial break should be enough time.

Labels: fat people, hot people, models, puking, the agency

  ¶ 10:12 PM