gael is a hot fucking slut!
Today we celebrate the day the hottest bitch on the planet was born. gael is totally the hotness and everyone should give thanks that this bitch was born to some hot mexican sluts!! i would totally make this bitch tortillas and horchata any day!!!  ¶ 8:52 PM

  wishes really do come true MY FAIRY GODWHORE......
once j-lo told some bitch that if you have a dream or wish you should say it out loud and tell people or something gay like that so that it can come true.....and since im a dumb whore and could never go against the advice of La Lopez i totally did it and that bitch was way right.....

here's my stupid ass channeling la reid on my half bday. don't laugh at my ass. ok wait, yeah...you can totally laugh....these pictures are fucking embarassing.

"give me all the alcohol you have bitches....but i want that shit for FREE" -jasmin or t-reid






"yay dancing.....dont try to stop me whores! and get out of my fucking picture!" - jasmin or t-reid



"come on slut....come out to the dance floor and be a drunk whore with me...." - jasmin or t-reid



......."i fucking fell "..... jasmin and t-reid



".....weeeeeeee.....alcohol....weeeeeee............." jasmin or t-reid




"ok bitches....take me home...now!...shriouisluey.." - jasmin or t-reid


hmm.....so that last bunch of pictures don't exactly match....but whatever...they totally do in spirit! i am way stoked that i was able to spend my half bday T-Reid style. even though i don't remember half the night and acted a fool....i like to believe that somewhere La Reid was looking into her crystal tit and was glad to see me following in her sloppy vodka soaked footsteps! thanks to my bitches who made that mess of a night possible:

you bitches are the most evil whores to walk the planet.  ¶ 1:01 AM

  crap/not crap it's been a while.............

today's crap/not crap:

Vanity Fair's cover story on Kate Moss: CRAP CRAP CRAPITTY CRAP.

boring and useless. best thing about this article is the topless picture of La Moss and the super hot pics of her with Pete Doherty. They are the hottest slut couple ever. i love La Moss, she's one of my heroes for sure....but that article was fucking lame!!

Every other article in this months Vanity Fair: TOTALLY SO NOT CRAP!

there are some seriously awesome articles in this issue. so far my faves:

• the article about how republicans want to kill PBS. that article is hot.
• also the article about how rich, important people say shit like "I see no point at all in being poor" oh my god that's hot. the queen mum (also totally one of my faves) is supposed to have said that when they took her ass through some ghetto one day!! that article is way hot.
• the Dominick Dunne Diary feature is hot mostly beacause it ties Robert Blake to Truman Capote (whom i way love)
• the ads are hot because they give me more things to put on my hot xmas list. seriously bitches, i am all about receiving gifts so if you bitches would like a copy of my hot xmas list let my ass know! i am not stingy with that! but only ask if you are going to buy my ass something hot. if not, then don't tease me. hot sluts don't like that shit.

there are other articles i haven't gotten to yet that look promisingly hot. like the woody allen one, the one about Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabana being gay on a boat (ok so the article is mostly a giant picture with 1 paragrpah about those bitches, but the picture is hot enough to frame and give to your most beloved gay), the article about the battle between the Equal and Sweet 'n Low Corporations because those articles always have some hot underground scandal going on and are basically like a Danielle Steele book, and the Arianna Huffington article because that bitch cracks me up.

ok bitches i have to get ready for stupid class....you can go back to "working" now, whores.

  ¶ 10:43 AM

  emergency post: hot celeb gossip we all saw coming for about one year! these bitches are DONE-ZO!





here is their retarded statement:
"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways. This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time." - Nick & Jessica

ps- "my vagina is open for business" - Jessica

anyways....i have nothing to do for the next 3 hours. i can't start making crap because we are on thai/salvadorean time so that means we don't fucking eat till like 8pm....which is good because if my family whores made my ass have to wake up early so they can indulge themselves i would be seriously pissed. i would totally make those bitches pay!!! they would have to hand feed my ass and be my slaves until christmas....oh and forgoe presents so i can buy myself something from that hot neiman marcus christmas catalog (the one where you can buy elton john!)!!! waking me up early is totally the worst thing anyone could ever do to me.

ew, but i drank so much coffee last nite i didn't go to bed until about 5 am and woke up all by myself at 9. what the fuck. whatever, i'll just drink more of that shit so i can start preparing for my role as hardcore kitchen bitch. i am a total asshole on thanksgiving. it's hot. my mom gets scared of my ass because i don't want her to touch anything. but sluts, you have to understand...if i don't scare that bitch away she will touch my food and turn that shit into coal. or even worse, she might start cooking something and make this:

HAHAHA don't get gross out bitches.....IT'S A FUCKING CAKE! i'm not joking. it's for kids and it is supposedly super popular! FUCKING GROSS. Children are fucking savages. Those bitches will eat anything and if you don't feed their asses they turn into slimy warty looking fug monsters and make your life hell. FUCK THAT. that is why i had to give in when my cousin sluts told my ass not to go on Vacay. they scare my ass. they are mafia style.

ok their is more celeb goss but my ass is lazy and i'm sick of typing to you whores. i'll be back in an hour after my 5th mug of coffee.

  ¶ 10:28 AM

  update: i'm not dead! nor is my madre-slut! I MADE IT HOME.....
and i didnt have to beat any bitches down! in fact all of South OC was super nice to my ass. it was hot! they must be able to tell i have a white boyfriend. it's all good; if that's what it takes, im ok with that.

so my mother-slut not only bought me a super hot power lunch, she bought all my shit at the container store and didnt smack me upside the head everytime i pointed out all the overpriced crap at fashion island i thought would look hot under the xmas tree (with my name on it of course)!

that is probably it, though, for mother/slut bonding. i won't want to look at that bitch for a good week or so and she probably feels the same way. it's hot that my mom and i totally don't like being in each others company for very long. i mean i'll see her around the house and crap but i can run away or hide behind my dad or something. when i am stuck in car with her i don't have that luxury nor does she, so we only do it like once a year. i love us.

well bitches, i have to go container my room now. have a hot tuesday night.  ¶ 6:02 PM

  oh bitches, i need your prayers! bitches i fear for my life!!!!!!!!!!

i have to spend the afternoon with my mom.

dear god,

i pray you give me the strength to not to want to give that bitch a smackdown....or at least the chance to sneak in a shot of tequila in order to not care what that bitch goes on and on about.

just kidding sluts. i heart my mom. she is a hardcore diva and i am basically an exact replica of that slut (on the inside though, because on the outside my ass is half asian and i look like neither of my slut parents) but on the inside i am exactly like that bitch...stone heart and all.... except i was made of like diamonds, emeralds, and pure delicious cashmere and silk, and that bitch was made of like some poly-blend and zirconia.

i am such a bitch.

no but for reals my mom tries to battle me for the diamonds. she is vicious. it's hot though. so me and my madre are heading down to the wonderful land of the republicans: south orange county. particularly: Newport Beach's Fashion Island and Costa Mesa's South Coast Plaza. This should be good because there is nothing my mom will tolerate less than snobby bitches. she hates that shit. i am making my mom take me to south o.c. mainly to watch her battle the botox injected but also because it's closer than going to LA and i really need to hit up the Container Store. that bitch also better buy me lunch, or else!!!!!!! she totally owes my ass especially since i am feeding a fucking army of bitches this thursday. that bitch doesnt even help my ass because she doesn't know a stove from a fucking slot machine!

ok bitches, pray i make it home in one piece....no, pray that my mom does. because the most likely situation is that that slut will make some mom-remark about my taste and then tell me i'm fat and then tell me she's going on vacay without me and then i will probably shove her in a container at the container store and leave that slut there! maybe i should consider the tequila afterall.  ¶ 12:21 PM

  brad...i love you so...i always will.... omg bitches, i posted the last posting before i looked at the comment pam's friend eric left me and he sent me the exact story i posted from gawker! damn you bitches are hardcore!!! you totally know exactly what piques my interest!!!!! thanks Eric for the story! i just wanted to make sure i gave you credit for that find. also, i hate you for meeting brad. he is heaven on earth......



(holy shit!!!!! so in the process of google-ing some pictures of brad, i came across his booking website!!!!!!!!! oh man, i totally take it back, i don't want an olsen under my tree, i want brad!!!!! bitches, PLEASE PLEASE get me brad for xmas. i will love you forever....or at least until i get a better present!!! here's his agency's website http://www.mm-agency.com/brad-fiorenza/ i like this part:

Brad from Real World San Diego would be great for nightclub appearances, hosting events, and speaking on drinking issues/relationships at college lectures.

hahahahahahahahah awesome!!! we should hire him to come to a "nightclub" but really it'll just be my backyard, you bitches, and a strobe light!! oh man, that is totally going to be my graduation party!)

ok so i feel i should probably explain why i love this bitch. i don't think he's like hot (like physically) or anything... he's no macauly caulkin...but he's totally crazy so that makes him hot. if you watched the Real World San Diego you totally know this bitch kept it real! everyone from that season was hot, actually. i don't know why i love brad, i just do. he's fucking funny and i like how he never gave it up to cammy. he's a fucking whore.

thanks eric for your story. i like knowing the many dimensions of my true loves and your story gave me some valuable insight!!! i have never wanted brad more now. i hope he raps at my graduation party. and i hope he brings adam from the real world paris and they rap battle each other! that would be hot!  ¶ 11:52 AM

  anonymous - i miss you-- plus a lindsay lohan "story" I miss the anonymous bitches that would tell me how their blogs will help me make money and other crap. those bitches are hot.

but not hot enough for me to take off that thing that makes you have to put in those hot codes. that's hot too because i know most bitches are lazy ass ho's and i like that bitches have to work in order to communicate with my ass. that shit is precious.

ok here's a story.....

so gawker.com says that some bitch sent them a forwarded email with the following story. no one knows if this bitch is lying or what. bascially some dude named Jason Lewis was at a bar at a hotel, overheard that Hohan was staying there, and left her ass some lame ass message saying he's Jason Lewis and they should meet up for drinks. Thinking that he is the Jason Lewis from Sex and the Shitty (i really do not like that show. but that's a whole other story), Lindsay calls his ass back.........read the story to find out what happens. (this story is longish and mediocre but i know you bitches don't actually "work" or "study" so just read this shit and get out of my face). (to the one person i know who really does work: you can skip this story if you don't care about hohan and look at the hot celebrislut pictures i provided after this story.....)

**********************
From: Jason Lewis
Sent: Monday, November 14, 2005 6:19 PM
Subject: The Lohan Story…

For those of you who have been following along the past 10 days….Here it is, in as full detail as I can recall, the entire Lindsay Lohan story, from start to finish…..

Wednesday, November 2: 9pm
After dinner at Kittichai (a new SoHo hotspot) with a recruit (who has since accepted her offer), we decide to take her for a drink to the Soho Grand before calling it a night. Upon a potential celebrity sighting in the lobby of the hotel, we proceed to the bar area and are seated by a hostess. We overhear conversation that Lindsay Lohan is in fact staying at the hotel that night.

9:30- After a drink and still discussing the fact that Ms. Lohan might be a guest in the hotel, I pick up my cell phone and call the Soho Grand main phone line. I ask to be connected to Lindsay’s room. After a brief hesitation, the operator puts me through. 4 rings, then voicemail.
“Hi Lindsay, its Jason Lewis. I am in the lobby of the SoHo Grand with some people, thought it would be nice to meet up for a drink. Why don’t you head downstairs if you’re free, should be a fun time. If not, give me a call, my cell number is ….”

We laugh it off. Maybe if she’s there (not likely) and gets the message (even less likely) she would be intrigued enough to come downstairs for a drink. After all, she is an avid follower of the [redacted] industry and should immediately know who I am from the message, right??….Either that, or she may think I was the actor on Sex and the City….you know that guy who seeing Samantha in the final season and just so happens to share the same name as me…

The phone battery dies that night. No message the next day.


Friday, November 4th: 3:31AM
Peacefully sleeping before a normal Friday workday, my cell phone rings and wakes me up:

JL: “Hello…”
??: “Um, hi, is this Jason?”
JL: (still fast asleep) “Yes…who is this?”
??: “Oh my god, its 330, I am so sorry! What is wrong with me? You are sleeping, I just woke you up…”
JL: “I’m sorry, who is this?”
??: “It’s Lindsay…”
JL: (no Lindsay coming to mind at this hour) “Wait, who is this?”
??: “Oh, its Lindsay Lohan…you left me a message here in my room last night. How did you know I was staying here?”
JL: “It’s a long story…you should have come down for a drink, it was fun… we should meet up for a drink soon…” ??: “Well, I am leaving tomorrow for LA….is this your cell phone number? Can I call you next week when I am back in NY?”
JL: “Yes….enjoy LA”
??: “Thanks….and I am sooo sorry I woke you up! I should have realized!!!”
JL: “Its ok….good night…”

In my sleep, I check the call log. I notice the call came from a ‘Restricted Call’ at 3:31am. However, at 3:30am a call was missed from a 310 (LA) phone number…..could this be her cell phone?

Friday November 4th: 10PM
At a close friend’s rehearsal dinner for his wedding the next day, I share the story with some of my college friends….already the story of the week, with potential for story of the year status if this continues. One friend gives me the idea to send a text message to that phone number…
After some creative thought, I send the following….

‘Thanks for the wake up call last night. Can I get one tomorrow at 6am? I need to get to the airport. Thanks. You are better than an alarm clock.’

One hour later I get sent back:
‘Are you coming to LA tonight? I’m so sorry again hunny!!! I didn’t realize what time it was! It was 330…6am I cant do.’

From me about one hour later: ‘No. Picking up from LA…wedding on long island tomorrow night’

From her, 20 mins later: ‘Hahahah. I am from Long Island. Where abouts on Long Island’

From me: ‘Lawrence…I think. Is that near your old spot? Should I stop by your family and say hello? Maybe bring cookies?’

…my pop culture ignorance should be showing here as I was later informed that her family isnt exactly a good conversation item….needless to say, the text messaging stopped there. …Until….

Wednesday November 9: 12:38am
‘How was the wedding doll?’
I am woken up again….and respond that night, but turn off my phone immediately after so as to not lose another night’s sleep over this.

‘you missed a fun time… how is LA? Coming back to NY?’

I wake up the next morning to find:
‘I’m in Thursday early morning’

By the middle of the next day, the 10 person strategy team had been assembled to handle all ongoing communications. It was determined we will wait until that night and then send a text back:
‘I think we learned your definition of early morning and mine are quite different….hunny.’

Thursday November 10: 4:30 pm
Another text from her: ‘I am in nycccccccc’

The strategy team meets and it is determined we will wait 24 hours before responding, with the outside chance she makes another late night phone call as I’m told younger girls are always likely to do.

Friday November 11: 1:30pm
At lunch, we send this text back-
‘Nice…had a benefit last night. You owe me a phone call…doll’

Immediate response: ‘Do I? Am I in trouble? Uh oh…..’

We wait until 7pm to write back: ‘You will be in trouble if you call me again at 4am….’

Regular Friday night…out with some friends for dinner and then a drink at an apartment.

11:45pm another text is received: ‘Come to bungalow?’

In a matter of minutes, the group heads westward in 2 cabs. Original plan is to get into a nearby a lounge and then attempt to establish contact. I send one more text ‘In the area. Are you there?’ The plan falls through, as apparently it is tough to get 7 guys into any trendy place in the Chelsea area….who knew?

We begin walking towards Bungalow 8, knowing entrance would not be likely…we get to the front of the velvet rope. The doormen are screaming to 50 or so people out front, “No one is getting in tonight! The door is closed! Unless you are here for the private dolce and gabanna party, you are not getting in!”

At this point, another text comes through— ‘Yes. Come here. Stefano dolce’s bday’.

I turn to my friend and say, ‘Dude, this might really be Lindsay Lohan who has been texting me all week…’

Simply mentioning the party was not enough to gain entrance. I had to play my one card…’Sir, I didn’t want to say this out loud but I am meeting Lindsay Lohan inside.’ He looks at me (like I had 3 eyes) and says, ‘Whats your name again?’. I tell him and he disappears in the club. 5 mins later he appears. He opens the velvet rope and lets me and my friend inside.
Apparently we pass Nicky Hilton right as we enter (although this is still unconfirmed). We walk in the middle of the place…trendy people everywhere. I turn my head to the left, and there staring me in the face is none other than Lindsay Lohan… Apparently not as big a fan of the [redacted] industry as we were hoping as she takes no notice while we walk past…To her left a tall guy in a suit with an earpiece and at her side a woman assistant. She’s rolling about 10 deep at her table. Everyone is sitting down, but she is the only one standing up…feverishly smoking a cigarette, talking to no one.

The only way to play it cool at this point is to casually slip to the back of the bar, have a couple of drinks and wait a good hour or so before figuring out the best method to approach.
I go to check my coat. My friend’s cell phone rings…its our other friends who are hanging outside the club…. ‘Yo, you guys are in trouble, the girl we thought was Nicky Hilton just came outside and asked the doormen if they let Jason Lewis, a tall blond guy, in the club. They say they did, but he wasn’t blond…but that they let in two shorter brown haired guys….’
What was to be a long clock consuming drive, immediately became a two minute drill with no timeouts left….at Vinny Testaverde at the helm. Within 1 minute the doorman who let us in finds us at the coat check and yells ‘Jason! I need you!’. I grab my friend and say ‘come with me…this is going down and it doesn’t look good….’ The doorman marches me up to Lindsay’s table. Her security guy and assistant approach. The doorman yells “Does she know him?!?! Does she know him?!?!’ Security guy looks at the assistant, assistant looks at Lohan, and Lohan gives a quick wave of her arms….. Lindsay then grabs me, gives me a huge hug and tells me she has been waiting all night for me……

Every part of this story is true….except for the last part…. She actually waved us off like she was declining a holding penalty….the bouncer immediately escorts us out of the Bungalow.
I send 2 more text messages: ‘So this is how it ends? Too bad your guy in the suit and your girl thought I was a threat because right now we’d be having a drink and a laugh. You know you are laughing over this right now.’ ‘Thanks for making my week. You wont have to worry about any issues from me. Be in touch if you want to meet some ‘regular’ people…’
And as you can guess…no response.

And so the Lindsay Lohan story comes to a crashing halt….for now. In the end, we learned, 1) Yes, it was her all along….2) maybe she’s not as ready to get married as some recent articles suggest…3) she’s just a regular 19-year old girl after all… I take pride in the fact that I didn’t lie or misrepresent myself at any instance during this 10 day story…..I was perfectly honest about everything…..Hope you enjoyed the read…
-‘The Real’ Jason Lewis

yeah wow. anyways, here are some hot pictures:
these bitches are so adorable!!! i really want one!!! they both better be under my tree on xmas day, or else, hos!

this bitch looks hot. duffster should totally go red. her boyfriend is a douche.

i stole this pic from that hot slut Elyse's blog. i have her ass linked. she is hot because she was on the first season of America's Next Top Model and she was supposed to become a doctor if she didn't win. well she didn't win *though she was really close* and of course, the bitch is still a model. she lives in Hong Kong now and she takes these awesome pictures......here is a picture she took on some airplane. this is the complimentary mouthwash in the bathroom.


dude, the god warrior bitch is so hot. i heart her. it would be so hot if you could hire her ass to come to your house and call your mom tainted and a gargoyle! i would give my mom that for xmas!!!! it would be so memorable!

"Gargoyles!... Psychics! "

"Get the hell out of my house- in Jesus' name I pray! "  ¶ 10:57 AM

  laguna beach is for boring ass bitches ok not really, i actually really love laguna, it's way beautiful there and there are good tacos there and no bums...and good ice cream...and hot bods....and its close to my school...ok....but lame bitches......tonite was the season finale of Laguna Beach and that shit was fucking boring. all those bitches did was cry and be all "i love you ho". Blah! feelings are so last season!!! it's hot that those bitches are all sad about living an hour away from Laguna. LA is seriously just down the 5 freeway you stupid vaginas! they totally swear.

i am, however, way stoked about the new season which won't air for like a year probably. It will be hot shit though because it will revolve around a whole new cast of ugly ass bitches. it will be totally hot! i am not even being mean. if you watch the preview you will see how right i am!! i love ugly ho's! they make for the best reality tv!!

i am also super duper stoked about the new season of MTV's The Gauntlet where old and young Real World/Road Rules sluts fight it out in retarded challenges that make them get nekkid. it's hot. Brad is my number one and i want to marry his ass. Pringle is ok with it because Brad will marry both of us and we will be a happy fams. Ok so i havent checked with pringle on that yet but im sure he'll be cool with it. If you are out there Brad from the Real World San Deigo....i heart you and your neanderthalness.

ok i have to go to sleep now. i only slept an hour.  ¶ 10:31 PM

  HOT SLUT HISTORY LESSON: 30,000 Calorie Sandwich
ladies and whores, meet the 30,000 calorie sandwich! this shit is so fucking hot. my entire body is watering.

ok so anyone that knows my ass knows that i love fat. like i love junk food almost as much as i love throwing that shit up after. (jk jk calm down ho's). so when i saw this hot bitch of a sandwich, i knew that i could die, that very day, a happy slut with the knowledge that somewhere out there, my true soul mate existed!!!!!!

...........so i will never have the pleasure of enjoying that mess of a sandwich....unfortunately i have been blessed with the kind of temperament that does not take kindly to the most delicious form of energy in the world: fried fat fat obese delicious things.

basically if i smelled this sandwich i would probably turn into this:

but im glad that the student bitch who put his 47$ together to concoct it did!!!!!!!

(bonus points if you know who the hot bible bitch is!!!!! that slut is fucking awesome! she totally made my wednesday! i actually opted to watch her ass over veronica mars this week.)

so here is the ingredient run down:

Fried Mushrooms, Bacon, Onion rings, Ground Beef, Corndogs, Swiss Cheese, Provolone Cheese, Cheddar Cheese, Sliced Ham, Sliced Turkey, Pastrami, Sliced Roast Beef, Bratwurst, Braunschweiger, Wheat Bread, Lettuce, Feta Cheese, Italian Salad Dressing, Oregeno, Salt & Pepper, butter, Parmesan Cheese, Canola Oil....and here is the breakdown......

Food ------------------------ Calories
Fried Mushrooms – 15 -------- 450
Bacon – 14 pieces ----------- 990
Onion rings – 18 ------------ 1140
Ground Beef – 1/4 lb. ------- 293
Corndogs – 2 ---------------- 540
Swiss Cheese – 4 slices ----- 425
Provolone Cheese – 4 slices - 397
Cheddar Cheese – 4 slices --- 455
Sliced Ham – 1/4 lb. -------- 184
Sliced Turkey – 1/4 lb. ----- 181
Pastrami – 1/4 lb. ---------- 394
Sliced Roast Beef – 1/4 lb. - 200
Bratwurst – 1 --------------- 510
Braunschweiger – 1/4 lb. ---- 580
Wheat Bread – 1 lb. --------- 1030
Lettuce – 1/2 head ---------- 25
Feta Cheese – 4 oz. --------- 350
Italian Salad Dressing – 6 oz 480
Oregeno – 50 grams ---------- 438
Salt & Pepper – 50 grams ---- 0
Butter – 1/2 lb. ------------ 1600
Parmesan Cheese – 100 grams - 465
Canola Oil – 154 Tbsp. ------ 18,432
Total ----------------------- 29,559

the bitch that made this sandwich is fucking hot. i don't know how long it took for his ass to eat that shit, but i do know that i would not be a happy toilet to see that shit come out.  ¶ 12:12 PM

  Check List Bitches Ok bitches, i am half way through what has possibly been the most stressful week of my semester! i am so glad to say i can check the following things off my list of crap.......


i used my slut charm on my hot bitch of a professor and got that bitch to let me take that class i need so i can graduate, even though that shit was already closed! check.

speech. check.

paper on dead bitches that lived in LA. check.

video journal. check.

meet with bio prof. check.

biodiversity article. check.

WATCH NEW EP OF ANTM: CHECK!!! did any of you bitches watch this shit??? if you didn't you way missed out. the crazy alcoholic bitch, lisa:


dressed up like a to' up hoodrat and in her confessional said that the other bitches need to binge on some cookies so they can stop hating on her.......

peed on herself while wearing a giant diaper on a photo shoot with the "Wild Boys" because Steve-O liked one of the other stupid skanks..............



and continued to be the crazy mess that she is!!!! .......

i love that slut!!! she's so fucking gross! i can't wait till this bitch has a breakdown and pees on Tyra. oh my god, i hope this bitch wins. she would be the best Next Top Model because those bitches never actually do anything and this bitch will definitely end up in some sex tape or some drug bust!!!

also, the winner of this episodes challenge got to be on an episode of VERONICA MARS!!! the lesbian won. it was hot bitches.

i'm almost done with everything else. i should be doing my television midterm........but blah, i'd much rather watch vintage Duffster on cable. yeah, and by vintage i totally mean fat.

  ¶ 11:21 AM

  uh, seriously. h-e-l-p.

oh my god bitches, today sucks. tomorrow will probably suck, and so will wednesday and thursday and friday..... and i am way over trying to get an education. so check it out. i might not graduate. seriously sluts, i don't know how much more of this state university crap i can take.

so i need to take this one class in order for me to get my slutploma and those bitches are only offering one section of the fucking class which as of today at 9pm is already CLOSED!!!! education is poo.

i can't wait till i register tomorrow morning at 10 and every fucking class i want to take is fucking CLOSED!! it will be hot because i will go into angry slut mode and probably shoot a professor or administrative slut in the face. oh my god, i have to find a hot outfit for when im on tv. ok bye sluts.

lovesies,
j

ps - here is a rundown of my hot mideterm part 2 activites (this is all due between tomorrow and next wednesday):

5 page oral history paper on two sluts that are dead

oral report on California Resource Activity

3-5 page paper accompanying oral report

meet with professor slut to discuss biodiversity oral presentation (required)

find article on biodiversity

write 2-3 page paper on article about biodiversity

oral report on biodiversity

5-7 page midterm paper - subject to be announced Wednesday- paper due Friday

Journal article on Video on reserve in Fullerton Library - 300 words

News Article Review - 300 words

Anthropology abstract - 300 words

not to mention all the regular crap i have to do:

SIT THROUGH HOURS OF CRAPPY LECTURE

Read, Read, Read, Read, READ..........

Prepare Topic for Television Thesis paper (10-15 page paper, at least 4 text sources, 1 video source)

Lab Reports and Quizzes

Discussion Board Participation

hunt down American Studies Theory and Applications professor and beg/bribe for admittance

get approval for electives/major advisement

watch america's next top model

OH! and did i mention i have to prepare a menu and make thanksgiving dinner for 25 people?  ¶ 1:58 AM

  dear ho bags,

i am back in my midterm cave. help.

yours affectionately,

jasmin  ¶ 7:08 PM

  unless you've paid for my food or alcohol in the last month or so, these pictures won't mean anything to you ok whores.....so in lieu of a lesson, you sluts can delight in these telling and heartwarming photographs: a peek in the life of a young slut........

ok so for reals though, i love these pictures because they captured the only moments of real social interaction (real = there was alcohol/food as well as a considerable amount of strangers present) i've had outside my usual day to day, week to week relationships. thanks bitches for paying for my fun. oh yeah and for your company too.

also thanks for helping me realize that alcohol sabaticals are completely debilitating and only lead to shame for i'm not the drunk i used to be. i have become a cheap easy version of my former self and i am not proud. these are so my scarlett letter..............ok not really. but thanks bitches, for getting me drunker than i've been in months!


Smash Party
























So B and I totally moonlight as the hot birthday party committee for the sluts we love. here we are celebrating this month's hot slut birthdays: fraternity rob, trucker marni, and csuMike. these sluts are so lucky to know us. especially fraternity rob because only a real freind fashions a shot out of the leftover melted ice/watery alcohol at the bottom of her glass. i am such a cheap ass whore.



































this is hugo. this slut was hanging out in some tank at that cabrillo aquarium place in San Pedro. He's a hot bitch because he is probably worth a good 125$ at any fine dining establishment. it's hot that he can be a fat mess and be worth more money for being fat than for having an eating disorder. hollywood shmollywood.







Pumpkin Party











me and the bitches at the parade. we were with more bitches (a cher bitch, a dolly bitch, some indiana jones whore, some lesbian that made out with one of my sluts, some sailor slut, and some dude that was something i didnt understand but he had a greek accent so i just told myself he was that for halloween.....but i don't know what happened to those bitches....the abbey was totally the black hole of weho that nite.) oh also, i totally regret not taking more pictures with hot strangers' costumes, but when you're drunk and as self absosorbed as i, the world ceases to exist beyond me, the sluts, and elton john......

maybe next year.


















failed attempt to ride off into the sunset.....what a dumb whore.




























caught in the act - stallion and i sharing an intimate slut moment.

























ok so at this point, i have no idea where i am or what is going on. if it wasn't for B capturing this moment, it would have faded away into the obscure land of blacked out moments........seriously, what kind of gd slut rolls around on concrete with a stuffed animal named stallion?  ¶ 11:11 AM