so in between all the self imposed responsibilities i mentioned above, i decided to call up a temp agency and schedule an interview! totally stoked. im going tomorrow and they told me to dress "professional". This is totally the hottest thing that has been on my to-do list since...hm...i think this is the first thing that has been on my to do list all year. I hope they find my Manila Folder and Starbucks drink professional enough. I hope they place me somewhere awesome too, where there is a watercooler and middle aged people and um...whatever office people make jokes about that i never understand. i'll let you know how it goes.
ps- i totally forgot to mention a while ago that i went to the Of Montreal show at the Troubador. My Scissor Sisters post totally reminded me how stoked i was about this:
isn't that the hotness, for reals? Thanks to Kristen and Andy for letting me borrow a space on their hot camera for this!! Of Montreal is seriously hot shit and they are really fucking awesome live. Kevin (the lead ho) totally puts on an awesome show!! he totally came out in a bunch of different outfits throughout the course of the show, including but not limited to: denim cut off shorts, a giant lobster claw on one hand, something super glittery and sequined, um....some really long giant dress that he had to get on a ladder to wear, and some other stuff i dont remember because this was almost a month ago.
i think half of the people there were either scared or disgusted! it was awesome. i dont even get why people would be either of those things but you know how it is...people are lame.
there were alot of people that did their best to get their dance on but the lame people totally outnumbered the hot people so that kind of sucked. kevin barnes is way way way hot though, so that made up for all the lame people who were afraid of glitter and gayness.
that entourage dude was there and he was not afraid of glitter. and it was the HOT entourage dude too! i dont watch that show, but i know who that dude is...well after it was pointed out to me. i know him more as the hot dude from the classic Melissa Joan Hart film: "Drive Me Crazy"! 
anyway, y'all should totally check them out next time they play! they totally do the outback steak house song, but not the outback steak house version...even though that was requested by someone in the audience!!
Outback Steak House Version:
Troubador Version:
Music Video Version:
Labels: bored, hot concerts, hot people, hot songs, i need a job, jobs
¶ 5:48 PM
a)passions is hot shit
and
b) the scissor sisters are even hotter shit...
it's totally weird and retarded...so it only makes sense that i love it:
......yes, this is totally a coping mechanism for my heartbreak. losing both, passions AND the oc, is more than i can handle. i can't even start to comment on the oc....
ok, i totally need a job.
Labels: hot people, hot shows, i need a job, passions, the oc
¶ 10:41 AM
this nelly furtado video makes me miss my dark hair. her bangs are fucking hot, so is this song. too bad this bitch is kind of boring. i'd probably be all about her if she was like scandelous or something.
in other news, am i the only person who is not into gwen stefani? people always try to make me like her. she's totally boring. like i am into her songs because they are retarded, but i'm just as into Fergie for the same reason and i get shit for being into Fergie. Fergie and Gwen are like totally the same. they are both funky in the face with hot bodies and bangs (*when they have bangs* those hoes are fickle.). and they are both into spelling. ok maybe Fergie is a little more into spelling.
Labels: bangs, hot songs, music sluts
¶ 3:48 PM
hm....if anyone wants to temp for her, please feel free to. here are the requirements, all of which are preferred but not necessary:
a) must love booze (preferably the hard stuff because beer people and booze people do not always see eye to eye)
b) must be hilarious, almost as hilarious as i am to myself
c) must be not boring
d) must be at least slightly addicted to caffeine and willing to indulge that addiction
e) must be interested in listening to me talk about target's wonderful plate selection while drunk
f) must be into taking obscene amounts of pictures, especially while drunk...and usually of this variety:
g) must carry one or two extra lollipops for me in case i go through all of the ones in my purse before the end of the night
h) karaoke. but not me. you. and then i watch and laugh at your ass and yell that you're a hot bitch while you sing.
i) must be willing to expect most non person to person conversations with me to take place via text message
j) must be willing to shoop
k) must know lyrics to or be willing to learn the lyrics to the following songs: Too Close by Next, Me and You by Cassie, Sexyback by Justin Timberlake, Peaches and Cream by 112, and that hot new Nelly Furtado song, "Say It Right"...for sure. that song is seriously hot., oh and of course the moving "Stars Are Blind" by the very talented Paris Hilton.
l) must love Chipotle.
m) must love Chipotle margs.
.....that's about it. this position also requires you put in about 20 hours of your week devoted to hanging out with me. your payment is that you get to hang out with me.
this is hot. if i were you i'd totally apply!!
Labels: bored, i'm awesome, jobs
¶ 12:00 AM
i want more of that dude on the small, big, and whatever other kind of screen there is. oh and i'll also have more of the cake, chocolate, and champagne that was all over that film!! that shit looks delicious. 
in fact, i'll take it all in real life. it's probably cheaper just to deliver that dude, the cake, the chocolate, and champagne via USPS than to put them all in a movie. actually, i can even do without the hot dude.Labels: fat people, hot people, models, puking, the agency
¶ 10:12 PM
....no, that is not a reference to myself! i just got back from london and i thought i'd try out some of the catchphrases i picked up!!.....that's better than any candy i've ever seen or tasted, that's for sure!!
....london business people do not mess around! they are totally my favorite part of the city. business people are the serious hotness. they power everything and that is a serious turn on. power lunch, power walk, power suits, power meetings, power happy hour, power vacay, power computer, power hail a taxi, power subway ride, power hire a hooker, power embezzle, power crush the hopes and dreams of those beneath them in order to get ahead. so hot! i want to power jasmin. i'm not exactly sure how that is different from regular jasmin-ing, but it sounds like fun. i think it just means i get to wear glasses whenever i do what i do. because i'm already really awesome at what i do. shut up, i totally do stuff! balancing drinking coffee and alcohol AND eating, and keeping up with the Target Go! designers is really hard work! oooo, i'm totally putting those on my resume!!Labels: business people, i'm awesome, london, power
¶ 6:51 PM
.....um, i am starting to think Footballers Wives is a look into the future....
yet another Footballers Wives plot line come to life!!
Zsa Zsa Gabor's (who is my fairy whore mother, but she doesnt know it) crazy awsomely accented royal husband is claiming he magically inseminated anna nicole smith and that HE is indeed the father!!! fuck lifetime, this is a story for Maury!!!
i hop zsa zsa makes some kind of statement. you know she'll say something hot and bitchy and about diamonds!
Zsa Zsa Gabor's Husband May Be Baby's Father
LOS ANGELES, February 9, 2007 - The husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith and may be her daughter's father, he told The Associated Press on Friday.
"If you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me," von Anhalt told The Associated Press. He said he would file a lawsuit if Dannielynn is turned over to Stern or Birkhead.
Von Anhalt, 59, and Gabor, who turned 90 on Tuesday, have been married for more than 20 years.
Gabor, a one-time sex symbol and star of such 1950s films as "Moulin Rouge" and "Queen of Outer Space," has been in declining health in recent years and suffered a stroke in 2005. She was partially paralyzed in a car crash in 2002.
Von Anhalt, who is Gabor's eighth husband, said he and Smith first met in the 1990s when Smith was still married to elderly oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II.
He said Smith approached him and Gabor at the Plaza Hotel in New York.
"She was a very big fan of Zsa Zsa and wanted to be like Zsa Zsa," he said. "She wanted to be a princess."
He said the two started an affair soon after, meeting over the years in Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York. For much of that time, he said, Smith urged him to make her a princess like his wife.
But short of divorcing the actress, he said the only solution would have been adopting Smith. Von Anhalt said he did consider that and even filled out adoption papers, but Gabor refused to sign them.
Edward Lozzi, who worked as Gabor's publicist during her celebrated "cop-slapping trial" in 1989, told the AP he doubted von Anhalt's claim, calling him a "chronic fabricator."
"There are some people who are married to famous people and take advantage of it," said Lozzi, who added that he himself dated Smith three times. He said he last spoke with her sometime during the past year.
Lozzi handled publicity for Gabor when she was arrested for slapping a Beverly Hills police officer who pulled her over for a traffic violation. She was convicted of misdemeanor battery on an officer, driving without a valid license and having an open container of alcohol in her car. She was sentenced to 72 hours in jail and fined $10,000.
Von Anhalt's royal credentials have been the cause of speculation over the years. According to stories in the British press, he was born Robert Lichtenberg, the son of a German policeman, and bought his title after being adopted as an adult by a bankrupt daughter-in-law of the last kaiser.
Von Anhalt said he never admitted the Smith affair to his wife, but that he's sure she knows. She would sometimes answer the phone when Smith called him late at night, von Anhalt said.
"The next morning my wife would always ask 'Who are you talking to?"' he said. "'Oh Europe.' I always said it was Europe."
Von Anhalt expressed some regret about the affair, saying "Men do things we shouldn't do."
"She was a very sexy woman," he added. "To have an affair with her is the top, you know."
Von Anhalt and Gabor were married in 1986. Some records list him as her ninth husband but one of those marriages was annulled.
Copyright © 2007 KABC-TV and the Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
ew, wish me a happy 3/4 birthday whores!!
.....and now a message to anna nicole smith
Anna Nicole, you were once a hot slut that went nuts. which to me made you hotter. i will miss your trim spa commercials and your slurring and your boobs.
¶ 1:43 AM
ok, so this astronaut whore tried to kidnap and kill some other astronaut whore because they were involved in a hot astronaut love triangle!!! ew, this totally makes me even madder that my mom would not let me go to astronaut camp when i was 8 thus ending my career as a space ho. I would do anything to be this close to a footballer's wives episode. my mom is such a bitch.
ok so in case you don't want to read the whole article here are some highlights:
they aren't sure if the crazy astronaut bitch was in a real or IMAGINED relationship with the Astronaut dude! HOT!!!
the crazy astronaut bitch drove from Houston to Orlando wearing an adult diaper so she wouldn't have to stop to use the bathroom! HOT!!!
the crazy astronaut bitch waited at the airport for the other hot astronaut lady bitch who she thought was trying to steal her imaginary astronaut boyfriend! HOT!!!
the crazy astronaut bitch was armed with pepper spray, a bb gun, and was wearing a hot wig and trench coat! HOT!!!!
the crazy astronaut bitch followed the hot astronaut lady bitch to her car and tried to get in. the hot astronaut lady bitch wouldn't let her and the crazy astronaut bitch started crying! HOT!!!
the hot astronaut bitch rolled her window down out of concern and the crazy bitch tried to pepper spray her!!!!!! SO HOT!!!
the hot astronaut lady bitch was able to drive to a booth and call the po!!!
later the po found a bag the crazy astronaut bitch tried to throw away. it had her wig, bb gun, a steel mallet, and some rubber tubing inside it! dang, that's hot.
this bitch is awesome. i am pretty sure she got all of her ideas from The OC, Footballers Wives, some old episodes of Dynasty, and maybe a random spanish novela. i can't wait for this whole thing to be on lifetime!!!
here's the actual article....but i think i did a better job!:
Astronaut to Face Attempted Murder Charge
Police Reports Say Lisa Nowak Wore a Disguise and Drove 900 Miles for Attempted Kidnapping
Feb. 6, 2007 — The NASA astronaut who allegedly tried to kidnap a woman involved in a bizarre love triangle with another astronaut will also face an attempted first-degree murder charge, an official said Tuesday.
The additional charge was announced after Lisa Nowak appeared in court Tuesday morning to face attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicle burglary with battery, and destruction of evidence and battery charges.
Originally, a judge agreed to release Nowak, who flew aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery last July, after she posted a $15,500 bond and agreed to wear a tracking device and stay away from the alleged victim.
An Orange County jail spokesman, however, said that Orlando police were in the process of adding the more serious charge — that the 43-year-old astronaut tried to kill the woman involved in the incident.
During the morning proceedings, chief astronaut Steve Lindsey, who flew with Nowak, testified that Nowak would return to Houston.
"Our primary concern is her health and well-being, and that she get through this," Lindsey said after the hearing. "Her status [with the astronaut corps] has not changed."
Nowak was also joined by another astronaut, Chris Ferguson.
The astronaut's arrest has baffled many who know her and work with her at NASA's Johnson Space Center.
A Navy commander and the married mother of a teenage son and twin 5-year-old girls, Nowak has logged more than 1,500 flight hours in 30 different aircraft.
The accuser is a woman who Nowak believed was romantically involved with fellow astronaut Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, according to police. Investigators are piecing together an assortment of evidence, including love letters and e-mails, that suggests a love triangle between the three.
The details in the affidavit portray a woman who was obsessed over a real or imagined relationship with Oefelein, who flew on the last shuttle mission in December.
Cross-Country Drive, Wearing Diapers
Police say that Nowak left Houston and drove 900 miles to the Orlando Airport, reportedly stopping only for gas and wearing adult diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate.
At the airport, she waited for the return flight of Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, who she believed was her rival for Oefelein's affections.
Nowak wore a trench coat and a wig to disguise herself, and carried pepper spray and a BB gun. She trailed Shipman to her car and attempted to enter the car, but Shipman drove to a parking lot booth and called the police.
From the police affidavit: "Lisa Marie Nowak (Arrestee) drove from Houston, Texas to Orlando, Florida in order to meet Colleen Shipman (victim) at the Orlando International Airport. Once Shipman arrived at the airport, Nowak followed Shipman to the blue lot where Shipman had parked her car. As Shipman gets into her car, Lisa Marie Nowak approaches Shipman's car, slaps the window, and tries to open the door. When Shipman will not open the door, Nowak begins to cry. Shipman cracks the window of her car at which time Nowak sprays pepper spray into the vehicle. Shipman is able to drive away from Nowak and ask for the Police. Nowak and Shipman were both in a relationship with another Astronaut. Nowak felt that she needed to meet with Shipman and discuss the details of their relationship with the male Astronaut."
After Shipman called the police, officers saw Nowak stuff a garbage bag into a trash can at the airport.
Inside the bag, they found a wig, trench coat, a BB pistol, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a four-inch blade, three to four feet of rubber tubing, several plastic garbage bags, and about $600 in cash.
Was There a Relationship?
Nowak and Oefelein did not fly on the same space shuttle mission, but they trained together for 11 days in 2002 at a Canadian army cold-weather survival camp.
Friends and colleagues are baffled over the allegations. One astronaut told ABC News that the astronaut corps at the Johnson Space Center was "totally, totally stunned. Everyone is just stunned."
Nowak is scheduled to be a capcom — capsule communicator — on the next space shuttle mission, STS 117, which is targeted for a March 15 launch date.
Will she be suspended?
No one at the Johnson Space Center is saying anything beyond confirming that Nowak is currently on active status. No one remembers a scandal of this proportion in recent memory in the astronaut corps.
Material from the Associated Press was used in this report. ¶ 2:13 PM
............and believe me when i say i will have a FULL report because i refuse to be at home at all tomorrow...my mom is totally being forced to throw a baby jesus party by her lame ass friends that i do not want to be a part of. target will be my sanctuary!!!! besides, i can't take any more of that ho (my mom) treating me like an incompetant secretary.....which is the right way to treat me, but it doesn't mean i have to take it. plus ladies of age in america are not anywhere nearly as entertaining as those in third world countries so there's no point in my staying. i wish my mom was zsa zsa. she's more like charo which means i have no idea what she's talking about, ever. ¶ 1:23 AM
....i still think they are the most beautiful little creatures in the whole world. and when i say that, i mean that literally, because we all know these hoe's aint human. i can't wait until someone realizes how lucrative it would be to clone the olsens and sell them in the special neiman marcus christmas book!!! i mean, you can already buy elton john through Neiman's, so really...it's not even that far fetched!! i'm totally going to get to work on this.....oh man, my brilliance totally amazes me! ¶ 1:08 AM
:Not KBIG. it's gone. R.I.P. Disco Workout Lunch Hour.
:Gossip Girl remains the hottest show on tv. Honorable Mention: America's Most Smartest Model!!!
:The Road by the dude who wrote Blood Meridien who's name has escaped me because that book scares me so i refuse to bring it into the bedroom with me.
:* 99cent Taco Tuesdays at El Torito followed by Dollar Scoops Tuesdays at Baskin Robbins. i only eat on tuesdays.